There are so many misconceptions around about stay-at-home mom’s, that it is quite astonishing. Since becoming a mother I have worked full time outside of the home, stayed at home full time, and now I work from home. So, I feel I have a fairly well rounded understanding on what it feels to be a mother in each one of those areas. What never fails to surprise me is the comments I get in regards to what is it that I do all day. Here are the most common misconceptions I’ve come across in my time as a stay-at-home mom.
1. We Must Have Money
Well, no. Actually, my initial reason to become a stay home was because my income was swallowed up entirely by daycare costs, health insurance and gas money, just by going to work. We actually found ourselves losing money for me to continue in the position I had before my daughter was born. Is it hard to live off one income? Usually yes. Sometimes is it necessary? Yes.
2. We Judge Working Mothers
How often does this actually happen? How much judging goes on and how much do we self-project from our mom guilt? I bet we all do it at one time or another, the mom guilt is for real. Let’s be honest, no working or stay-at-home mom even has the energy to judge someone else’s patenting. If you happen to come across this unpleasant
3. We Just Hang Out And Drink Coffee All Day
Well, we might actually drink coffee all day, #survival. But thats not all we do. I’m lucky if I can finish my first cup before noon, and usually it’s been reheated no less than 4 or 5 times. Between diaper changes, toddler tantrums, endless laundry and sweeping of floors, there isn’t a whole lot of spare time for coffee drinking.
4. We Don’t Want A Career
First of all, raising babies is a career all by itself. Probably the most important thing of all. Which we are all doing whether we work outside of the home or not. Second, I actually think we live in a society that is impossible to feel like we are “succeeding” without a career, something we don’t need to be reminded of when people ask, “so you just stay home?” I cannot be the only mother out there that is constantly in awe of all the amazing momprenures, who rock that working-mom and stay-at-home gig. Just because we are home most days with our littles, it doesn’t mean we have forgotten about our own dreams and aspirations, FYI.
5. We Don’t Care About How We Look
For real. Do you think we actually like leaving the house with spit up on our clothes and a 4 day mom bun? I would love a little time to myself to get ready, and to wear grown up clothes every once in a while. Also, on the days we make an effort and our nails are perfectly manicured and our hair is done, we get peppered with comments like, “I wish I had time to get myself pampered.” No comment.
6. That Our Home Are Always Clean + Tidy
“If you stay home, your house must be spotless all the time.” I’m laughing so hard I’m worried my 8 months pregnant bladder might just fail me. We are not home alone, just cleaning and admiring our handiwork. We are constantly cleaning up after little tornados whose entire mission in life is to make leaving sticky handprints on our walls and drop food on our floors. Sometimes we leave the house right after I’ve cleaned just so I know it’s lasted more than 15 minutes.
7. That We Must Be Bored
Honestly, I understand this one, I felt like it once. The day I put my 2 week notice in was the scariest day of my life. I had already had my 4 month maternity leave so I knew what a ridiculously hard job I was taking on full time. While I was thrilled to be able to be with my daughter more, I was terrified of the isolation. Honestly, it has only gotten better each day. Sure some weeks are long and hard but as my toddler grows and gets closer to school age I just try and soak up as much of this time with her as possible. Also it turns out, kids can be a whole lot of fun. 😉