As with so much in motherhood, the topic of postpartum sex is not one that is talked about often. Unfortunately this can leave new mamas feeling unsure or even embarrassed with no one to talk to as they navigate this new season. How quickly you feel about jumping back between the sheets will be different for everyone, and while there is no rule of thumb, there are definitely some tips and tricks to make this a smooth transition for you and your partner.
1. Get The All Clear
You are probably not even thinking about getting back in the saddle, just weeks having given birth, and whether you have a vaginal birth or c-section you have a lot of healing to do. However, if you are gearing up to jump back in the sack, make sure you have the all clear from the doctor before you do. Also, just because the doctor signs you off that doesn’t mean you need to be in any hurry. It may look fine down under but it certainly doesn’t mean it feels like it.
2. Make A Plan
Unless you are hoping for Irish twins in your near future you may need to have a think about what your birth control plans are. Oh, yes, something you haven’t needed to worry about for quite some time! Remember, even though many women don’t get pregnant while breastfeeding, this isn’t a reliable form of contraception (I personally know of 2 friends with Irish twins who used breastfeeding as a form of birth control. Oops). All of your options can be discussed with your practitioner at your first postpartum appointment.
It’s been a while since you last did the deed and although childbirth is completely natural, your body has gone through some major changes. Chances are you are feeling a little overwhelmed by all the needs of your new baby and winding down does’t come as easily these days. Make sure the baby is down for the night and help yourself to a glass of wine to ease any tension you might be feeling.
4. Take Your Time
There is no rush when it comes to postpartum sex. Take your time to get comfortable. Start out with oily massages, a candlelit bath or a spicy make out session to warm things up.
5. Lube It Up
While lubricant may not have been the first thing on your bedroom to-do list prior to having a baby, it very well may be now. A lot of moms, those who are breastfeeding in particular, complain of vaginal dryness postpartum. Keep some lube handy to help ease any discomfort and even increase the pleasure for both you and your partner.
6. Talk It Out
Now is definitely the time to speak up and tell your significant other what’s feeling good, and what’s not working for you. Experimentation is the name of the game during postpartum, so don’t be afraid to change up your positions to what works best.
7. Watch Out For Milk
Nursing moms may experience some breast leakage during sex. If this isn’t a mood killer for you or your partner, no need to worry. If you are concerned about this putting a halt to your lovemaking, you can simply throw on some sexy lingerie and keep the bra on while your at “it” to keep the mood going. Another option is to keep a towel handy for quick clean up.
8. Do Your Exercises
Remember the Kegels your doctor was telling you to do during your pregnancy? Well it’s not time to stop them just yet! Kegel exercises can help restore muscle tone to the vagina, which can also help make your lovemaking more pleasurable. A sure way to get those exercises in is during sex itself.
9. Give It Another Go
If at first it’s not rocking your world, then take a step back and give it another go at a later time. Just think of those as warm up rounds while you get ready for the real deal. Find creative ways to be intimate that don’t cause you any discomfort.