I’ve always heard people say they weren’t sure if they could have another baby as they couldn’t possibly imagine loving their second as much as their first baby. This has actually never been a fear of mine. We waited about 2 years before trying for our second baby and I felt nothing but ready and excited to welcome a new life into our home. The early stages of pregnancy are thrilling, exhausting and emotional as your start to bond with your little one, desperately waiting for them to grow big and strong, anxiously waiting their arrival. In the last week I entered into my third trimester and suddenly it feels like this pregnancy has flown by. I’ll be holding my baby in my arms before I know it. Well, that hit me like a ton of bricks this past weekend. And I realized: I’m scared.
I’m scared about having to divide my attention and losing all the special one-on-one time with my sweet girl.
I’m scared about having another non-sleeper and being so tired I want to cry. All. The. Time.
I’m scared about how I’m going to manage two children by myself everyday, and balance work, and make time for my husband.
I’m scared I will never have any time for myself and lose the independence I’ve gained as my baby has become a toddler.
I’m scared that having two kids is going to be a big financial jump for our family.
I’m scared I wont be able able to leave the house with two kids. Because, umm, how?
They might sound ridiculous, but these are the thoughts that have consumed me the past couple of days. Even though these are real fears, I’m so thankful to know I am not alone. I know many mothers who have gone ahead of me and have made the transition from one to two kids. I also know that while I’m scared, I’m also so dang excited to hold this sweet boy in my arms for the very first time. I can’t wait to see my little girl become a big sister and watch their relationship grow. I can’t wait for those tiny newborn snuggles and the smell of their newborn skin. I can’t wait to see my husband become a dad to a little boy.
I may be scared, but I’m also really, really happy.