Admitting that you don’t like being pregnant — especially while surrounded by women who would LOVE to be — is taboo. So we keep our feelings to ourselves. But this is a letter to the woman who feels guilty about not enjoying pregnancy, but still needs and wants to be heard.
To the woman who doesn’t like being pregnant,
I see you. I was you. You’re the woman who may have waited a long time to get pregnant, so the idea of complaining seems like the most selfish thing you could do. You are the woman who is waiting for the pregnancy glow — which for me ended up being a permanent layer of sweat on my forehead. And you often look enviously at the pregnant women posting pictures of themselves at the gym #fitpregnancy #healthypregnancy blah blah blah. Before getting pregnant, you foresaw treating yourself to green smoothies and an abundance of superfoods, but then the pregnancy cravings began and kicked your butt with their salty and sugary attacks.
You can’t get more than an hour or two of sleep at night without feeling uncomfortable and needing to toss and turn to find any ounce of relief. You had planned to put on the classical music and read to your swollen baby belly, but instead, you have to nurse your swollen ankles.
The miracle growing inside of you is romanticized so much so that anything negative you might feel is met with extreme guilt. But stop it! The way you feel has nothing to do with the baby. You fiercely love that life inside of you! It’s okay to love the result but be miserable along the journey!
To be completely honest, I didn’t like sharing my body. I’m not naturally into physical touch or affection, and being pregnant takes physical touch to a whole new level! There was no getting away from it! Obviously, I would do anything for my baby — so enduring a miserable 9 months was well worth it, but I’m sick of having to make up excuses for why I have chosen not to do it again.
I didn’t like being pregnant. If it happens again, it happens. But it’s definitely not something I’m going to choose for myself if I can help it! If you feel that way, I’m here to tell you that it’s okay! I am sure you love celebrating your preggo friends’ journeys, but don’t wear a mask that tells them how amazing pregnancy is. Don’t encourage the romanticism of pregnancy in case your friend wants permission to feel the same way you did about being pregnant — over it. But if she is one who loves the experience, celebrate with her! Agree to disagree — but be real!
When I finally admitted to a few people how I really felt about pregnancy, the response was a sigh of relief: “I FEEL THE SAME WAY!”
No guilt. No facade. Remind yourself that the way you feel is not a reflection of how you will be as a mother.
And remember…it’s only 9 months!
A woman who understands.
Tell us in the comments how you felt about pregnancy!