4. “You Don’t Have To Be Scared”
Just because you tell someone not to feel something, doesn’t mean that they take it to heart. If your toddler comes to you and says they are scared, talk to them about why! Don’t just brush them off and belittle their feelings, because we sure don’t like it when people do that to us! Validate their feelings, but also reassure them you are there and will protect them.
5. “That’s What Happens When You…”
“I told you so” is the old school version of this phrase and one you probably heard it as a kid. It’s basically what our parents threw in our faces when we went ahead and did something they told us not to do. Because we were kids, and that’s what kids do. Nowadays we try and make everything a teachable moment and often this is the first thing that comes out of our mouths when our kids fall of the chair they were goofing of in. I am VERY guilty of this, and empathy often comes only after I look at the fear of my daughter’s face from the fall she just took. Kids are smart, and they found out the moment they fell or got in trouble that “that’s what happens when they…” They don’t need to be told again, they need to know their parents are there to pick them up when they fall and make a mistake.
6. “Wait Until Mommy/Daddy Gets Home!”
Many homes have a designated disciplinarian in the home, and this has been common for decades. The majority of the time, it’s been the father who doles out punishment and spankings. But we’ve learned a lot over the years when it comes to parenting, and instilling a sense of fear for people in authority in our young children is not the best option. Additionally, it takes away from the other parent’s ability to discipline the children equally. Most parents want their children to equally respect their parents, not one more than the other! We also don’t want our children to be afraid of us. Talk to your spouse about proper discipline methods that you both feel comfortable with.