With cold and flu season upon us, your whole family has either already been sick, or you’re about to get sick. Any woman with a husband and kids knows that there’s only one worse thing than a sick child: a sick husband. For some reason, when men get sick they are totally and completely helpless and you now have one more child to take care of. I don’t know about you but it takes all the strength I have to bite my tongue when my husband is sick and not tell him how completely ridiculous he is being. I’m sure many of you can relate and know how frustrating our husbands can be when they have a cold or the flu. In fact, here are 8 of the most annoying things our husbands do when they’re not feeling well.
1. No Amount Of Medicine Will Help
For some reason, when it comes to taking medicine men will either refuse to take it all together because “it won’t do anything for me,” or they will take as much as they possibly can at the strongest dose and it still won’t work. How this happens, I really don’t know. What I do know is that if your husband asks for medicine, you better stock up on as much as you possibly can that covers every single symptom so there will be no excuses as to why he’s not feeling better. Trust me, you don’t want to be running back to the store over and over again to get a different medicine that will help his cough or fever.
2. You Can’t Sit Down For Longer Than 5 Minutes
If your husband comes down with some sort of sickness, you better be prepared to run around the house fulfilling all sorts of requests. One minute he’ll want water, then the next minute he’ll want juice because the water doesn’t taste good. Then in a few minutes he’ll ask for a blanket because he’s cold. Give it a few more minutes, then he’ll be asking for tissues, for you to take his temperature, for some more medicine, blah, blah, blah. The requests are never ending, so be prepared to not sit down for longer than five minutes at a time.
3. Everything You Do For Him Has To Be Just Right
Along with all those requests your husband is making comes a very large expectation with each one. You better make sure that each request you fulfill is done absolutely to his liking, otherwise you’re going to be doing it over again until it’s perfect. For example, if the tea you made him doesn’t have enough honey in it, be prepared to take it back and make a whole new cup. If you drew a hot bath for your husband and the water’s not hot enough, you’ll be draining all the water and filling the tub back up with hotter water. If you don’t get him a warm enough blanket, you’ll be going back into the linen closet to get him the warmest blanket you can find. It’s best to make sure you do everything absolutely perfect the first time around so you don’t completely wear yourself out.
4. If He Has To Get Up, He Might Die
Ok, ladies, we all know that men can be a little dramatic when they’re sick, right? Actually, I take that back, they’re not a little dramatic, they are complete and total babies! When we are sick, we have kids to take care of, the house to keep clean, food to cook for ourselves and the rest of our family, and so on. When men are sick, they stay home from work, shut themselves in their bedroom away from whining and crying kids, watch TV and sleeping all day. That’s a rough day, right? If, for some reason, you don’t fulfill one of your husband’s requests and he has to get up to do it himself, you’ll hear about it for the rest of the day because it probably made him more sick. On top of that, his cold is definitely worse than any cold you’ve ever had. I mean, you didn’t have as high a fever as him, and you have no idea how bad his throat hurts, and his cough sounds so much worse than the one you had, right? WRONG!
5. Be Prepared To Pick Up Lots, And I Mean Lots, Of Snot Rags
Since our husbands can’t get out of bed to save their life when they’re sick, they for sure aren’t going to pick up any of their used, nasty tissues. They’ll leave them by their bed, in their bed, in the bathroom, in the kitchen and everywhere else they blew their nose. Walking to the trashcan and throwing them away is just too much activity for them that could make them more sick, so you’ll not only be picking up after your kids for a few days, but after your husband, as well.
6. Any Temperature Over 98.7 Is A Raging Fever
Your husband will probably ask you every few hours to take his temperature to see if he has a fever. If it’s one degree over 98.7 you better be prepared because he’ll now feel even more awful knowing that he has a “fever” which will give him even more reason to complain, make requests, and sleep the day away.
7. You’re Now Mommy Not Just To Your Kids, But Your Husband, Too
Growing up, what’s the one thing you always wanted when you were sick to help make you feel better? Your mom. Well, now that your husband is married and away from home, he doesn’t have his mom to take care of him when he’s sick. You’ve now the closest person to a mother figure that he has and will want you and only you to take care of him and help him through this. As sweet as that can be, it’s also very frustrating, as well. When he’s sick he’s like one of your children that can’t do anything for themselves and needs you to do everything for him.
8. For Your Sanity, Grab A Glass Of Wine
While you’re out at the pharmacy grabbing some medicine for your husband, you might want to pick some wine up for yourself, as well. It may be the only thing that helps you get through those rough few days of having another child to take care of at home that’s full of whining and requests.
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Mary Mulroney
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