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How To Get Your Home Ready For Your Baby

by LifeAsMama
written by LifeAsMama

Becoming a parent can be so stressful. There are so many things that you need to get done and so many changes to your body happening at the same time. However, getting your home ready doesn’t need to be complicated. There are three main things that you need to do to get your home ready for baby – get the furniture you need, pick out some fun toys and do your best to babyproof the spaces your baby will be in. 

Acquire Furniture

You are going to need a crib for your baby, even if you plan on co-sleeping for any stretch of time. You can even get ones that transition into a toddler bed and even a full-sized bed so that you have a little more time with a fairly large purchase before it needs to be returned. You’ll need to make sure you get one with a comfortable mattress in it so that you don’t have any additional issues.

You will also need to get enough storage for your baby’s things. This doesn’t have to be expensive. If you have friends or family that have had kids, chances are they have some things that they can pass your way. You can also usually find kid’s storage furniture for cheap on the Facebook marketplace and from thrift stores, which is a great way to make your life – and your wallet – greener. 

Find Stimulating Toys

Gender shouldn’t play into the kind of toys your baby gets. Make sure that you have a variety to choose from so you can see what things your child gravitates toward. As for the rest of the toys that your child wants nothing to do with, think about reselling them or donating them to a local charity. That way, your home will have a little bit less stuff for you to have to tidy up later on and you’ll be helping someone else’s baby out.

Babyproof Your Home

Babies have an almost magical ability to injure themselves on anything and everything in their paths. It’s kind of impressive. However, as a parent, your job is to do everything you can to keep your baby safe. 

With that in mind, you need to make sure that anything made of glass or easily breakable is moved far, far out of your baby’s reach. If you have tall shelves that are not built into the wall, do your best to keep your baby away from them to avoid any tipping issues. 

You should also pad any sharp corners that you have in the room. This will save you a lot of tears and headaches in the long run from babies grabbing them or running into them.

Last but not least, put babyproof handles on doors to anywhere that your baby could get into trouble. This means kitchen cabinets, bathrooms, even older kids’ bedrooms. By limiting the space that your baby is in, you will keep them just a little bit safer every day. As they get older and more responsible for their own bodies, you can start to open the house up a little more. 

If you aren’t sure about something, don’t be afraid to reach out to your support network, whether that is online or in person. Other parents will have some advice that might work out well for you and your family. 

About the Author

Heather Viera is a lifestyle expert and researcher for FamilyLivingToday.com. She is dedicated to achieving a balanced lifestyle, even with two small children and a full-time career. In the little free time she has, she enjoys hiking with her partner and taking her dog to the beach.

 

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attachment-based activities
Adoption

8 Attachment-Based Activities For Adoptive Parents

by Amanda Foust
written by Amanda Foust

Children from hard places require a process that leads them toward attachment. Unlike babies who hear their mother’s voice from the womb, a child from adoption or a foster situation needs extra time and energy spent on forming positive attachments.

“The more the child feels attached to the mother, the more secure he is in his acceptance of himself and the rest of the world. The more love he gets, the more he is capable of giving. Attachment is as central to the developing child as eating and breathing.” ― Dr. Robert Shaw

attachment-based activities

You see, your child may not remember neglect, hunger, or abuse in a vivid way, but his/her body always will. There are triggers that need to be worked through and trust that needs to be built.

Sometimes the idea of attachment is scary to adoptive families. They ask, “What if they never attach?” But the good news from Fi Neweed is: “We do not need to know the beginning of a child’s story to change the ending.”

So how do we change the ending? Here is a list of 8 attachment-based activities for adoptive parents.

1. Games that require eye-contact.

Eye-contact isn’t always easy for kids with trauma. Though they should never be forced to look someone in the eye, playing games together that require a connection visually is a great way to encourage attachment.

2. Piggy-Back Rides

This offers physical touch and helps build trust. It can be intimidating to ride on someone’s back, but it’s also a lot of fun! Start slow and then work your way up to running and twirling with your little attached to your back!

3. Do each other’s hair, makeup, or face paint!

My daughter loves doing hair, so this is a great way for her and me to connect. She has even started doing her dad’s hair in “pigtails” and barrettes. Doing one another’s makeup or painting faces is also a great way to offer touch that doesn’t feel awkward as there is a purpose with the touch.

4. Dance together.

One of the best ways to connect through dancing is to hold the child in your arms and close up against your chest. This may feel uncomfortable to the child at first so work your way up to this! It’s a synchronized activity that also offers a feeling of closeness.

5. Play Peek A Boo.

This game offers eye contact and shows the child that you’re still there even if you can’t see each other!

6. Trade love notes.

Once the child can read and write, words of affirmation through leaving love notes in a notebook or slipped under the door can really mean a lot to a child!

7. Sing songs.

Scoop your child up onto your lap and sing songs together! Choose songs that are quiet and soothing at first and then you can branch out to different genres. A slow, calming voice like a mother uses with a baby is important to use with a child from hard places until trust is built!

8. Practice showing grace along with discipline.

“The children who need love the most will always ask for it in the most unloving ways” ― Russel Barkley

Disciplining a child who has experienced trauma is much different than a child who has been with you from the start. Your main attachment focus should be on showing grace! As the quote above reminds us, these children may ask in unloving ways, but they simply want love and loyalty!

When adoption attachment is hard, remember that your relationship with your child impacts his/her entire life! Dr. Dan Siegal said, “The relationship you have with your child shapes the structure and function of your child’s brain.”

Don’t give up! Try different things until you find what works! Attachment’s best for everyone involved, and though it takes time,

Ask us in the comments if you need more support along your adoption journey so we can help point you to more resources!

attachment-based activities

Amanda Foust

Amanda Foust

Amanda is a wife, mother, writer/editor, and certified life coach. Pen and paper make her spirit come alive. She spends her creative time reading, decorating, and handwriting fonts. Her world is better with an assortment of chocolate and a stack of books packed and ready for travel. She works each day to be a creative maker and a light bringer. You can find more of her writing at Downs, Ups & Teacups and TheDailyPositive.com.
Amanda Foust

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Adoption

To The Parents Facing Adoption Fears

by Amanda Foust
written by Amanda Foust

From a young age, I knew I wanted to adopt. The idea of kids living without a permanent family devastated me. I didn’t quite understand why taking a family from an innocent child would ever happen, but I knew I wanted to offer some kind of “second chance” to kids who were handed circumstances they didn’t deserve.

However, I often thought about adoption on “my terms.” I wanted the process to be as easy and comfortable as possible: the younger the child the better, minimal trauma experienced, closed adoption to avoid any family drama, etc.

adoption fears

It wasn’t until the Lord worked on my heart to say “yes” to any child we were given, no matter what, that I began to see the true beauty of adoption — and that it wasn’t about me! This doesn’t mean that every adoption opportunity we were given actually came to pass, but what it does mean is we had to learn to trust God to close the doors rather than our fear.

Our first adoption experience we got our referral call, and it was mixed with both excitement and fear. We were told our daughter may not survive as she was severely malnourished. She was across the ocean battling hunger while we did everything we could to give her the nourishment she needed to keep fighting. Thankfully, God provided and blessed her with an amazing foster family who took care of her needs and loved her as their own. But it was scary saying yes, and I worried every day. I look back on that first phone conversation and know without a doubt it was God pushing me to say “yes” because her health was not something I willingly wanted to tackle. I was selfish and full of fear.

But now, I can’t imagine ever saying no.

Since then, we have been in another adoption process with several referrals that have fallen through on their end, but not on ours. Children of all ages, all types of trauma, and even open adoptions have been presented to us. Everything opposite of what I initially wanted adoption to look like — each call stretching me outside my comfort zone and teaching a lesson that “It’s not about me.”

I’m fully confident that God is actively involved in each and every adoption story. Of course, it wasn’t His plan for their first family to fall apart. But God gives us free will, and the world is broken. He does, however, give beautiful second chances when we say “yes”! Take it from someone who used to make it all about herself; adoption is about saying “yes” and watching God equip you and swell your heart with love you didn’t think could grow in uncomfortable and scary circumstances.

Because it can and it does.

When you feel fear start to creep in and steal your “yes,” remind yourself:

Adoption is not about you. Sure, you want to be sure it’s right for your family, but make sure your hesitancy is coming from a good place and not just a place of fear.

You don’t have to be enough because GOD is enough.

If you’ve covered your adoption process in prayer, you can trust God to shut the doors if it’s not the right fit. I’ve seen this first-hand.

Sure, children from hard places may have “problems” but, honestly, who doesn’t have problems? I know I come with a set of problems of my own and have never been without the love of a family. We need each other.

Scars may always be there, but they DO fade with time.

There are resources and support out there to help you along the way!

We hope that this eases your fears a bit and opens your heart. And if adoption isn’t for you, consider supporting a family who has or is adopting. We can all play an important role in giving kids the second chance they deserve!

 

adoption fears

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AdoptionKids

How To Create A Peaceful Calming Corner For Your Kids

by Amanda Foust
written by Amanda Foust

This post contains affiliate links.

Children are expected to excel academically but rarely are they taught how to regulate emotions. As much as I hope my kids excel in school, I’ve made it a point to invest in their emotional regulation and independence more than I have invested in them academically. One way we do this as a family is through our home’s calming corner. You may have heard about calming corners before. This is a space in the home where children can go to find peace when they are feeling emotions that they want to change such as anger, sadness, or fear. We make it a point not to run away from our feelings, as it’s impossible to be joyful one hundred percent of the time, but we do want to find our way back to joy!

There will be a day when I can’t fix their problems, and they must learn how to feel their emotions and discover peace among the chaos they can’t always control.

Calming Corner

Here is how to create your own calming corner in your home:

1. Choose A Calm Location.

For example, you wouldn’t want your calming corner to be in a crowded closet surrounded by stimulants. This space should be in an area of your home that is simple and clutter-free. A window that lets the light in is an added bonus! Remember, this area is also for the child to get away from the other kids in the home, so it should be somewhat segregated as well.

2. Incorporate Yoga.

Yoga poses are known to naturally calm children. To keep kids independent in their corner, Childhood101.com has a poster with simple yoga poses children can view and mimic. Print off a copy and place in a frame in the calming corner for your kids to refer to after they roll out their yoga mat. I really love the affirming phrases that go along with each pose as well!

Source: childhood101.com

3. Use Essential Oils.

An essential oil diffuser is a great way to calm children. Essential oils like lavender, cedarwood, Peace and Calming, or other essential oils naturally encourage peace. Have the drops ready to go in the diffuser and teach your kids how to turn it on when they need to sit in the calming corner. Here is an affordable diffuser that would work perfectly in a calming corner! I think the different color choices for the diffuser’s light is a great bonus too! I know my kids love to choose the color of our diffuser light whenever we turn it on. Sometimes giving kids a space to be independent is exactly what they need!

4. Provide Calming Activities.

The last thing you need in your calming corner is a bunch of toys! Be intentional about what activities you provide in this area of your home. A few examples of activities are the following:

  • Glitter Jars — shake the glitter in the jar and watch the glitter twirl. The child’s attention should be on the motion of the glitter which naturally calms their brains.
  • Therapy Brush — the texture of this brush feels good when rubbed on hands
  • Stress-ball
  • Coloring sheets & crayons

5. Access To A Weighted Blanket.

Weighted blankets are often used for therapy purposes. They are known to help decrease anxiety and feel like a warm, safe hug! Here are ten other benefits to weighted blankets and here’s where you can purchase a version your kids can place on their lap for comfort as they look for peace.

What are your thoughts on creating a calming corner in your home? Tell us in the comments more tips for helping your kids regulate their emotions!

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parenting a special needs child
AdoptionFamilyKids

Getting The Support You Need Parenting A Child With Special Needs

by Amanda Foust
written by Amanda Foust

Special needs is a “label” that’s hard to navigate. Children were all created to be unique, yet they have to fit into a box that society has designed as the standard. If they step one foot outside of the box, they’re considered “different” in all the wrong ways. In response, a group of people surrounds them with a diagnosis and therapy options to “fix their problems.” Although as moms we should be grateful for solutions, it’s easy to feel lonely watching our children be misunderstood.

parenting a special needs child

For those of you mamas who may be tackling special needs alongside your children, I wanted to encourage you on your journey.

My daughter didn’t become a part of our family until she was almost two. Before her adoption was complete, she heard more than one language — not including English. It took her a long time to comprehend a new language in addition to getting to know her new family. Because it is difficult for kids to jump past more than one milestone at a time, she was focused on learning a language and falling further behind in her gross motor development. Without getting too deep into her story, these delays got her approved for an in-home therapy program as well as entrance into a special needs preschool through the local public school system.

I was thankful for the additional resources and support we found through these programs, but I was not expecting all the emotions that would come with watching my child be misunderstood and set apart in a not so great way.

All children with special needs are given an Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) when they enter the public school system. An IEP is “a plan or program developed to ensure that a child who has a disability identified under the law and is attending an elementary or secondary educational institution receives specialized instruction and related services.”

The plan includes a detailed outline of the student’s needs as well as a step-by-step process towards a solution. I was caught off guard the very first time I sat in on an IEP meeting. The teachers and therapists handed me a thick packet of statistics, graphs, and checklists that I didn’t understand while they surrounded me with concerned and pitied looks on their faces. They then began to tell me everything my daughter wasn’t able to do and all the ways she was different compared to other children her age.

“As you can see, an average child can do (blank), and your child scored below average with little progress since.”

“She just doesn’t seem to be able to understand (blank) no matter how hard we try.”

Phrases like this cut me like a knife. My daughter’s memory is incredible, her compassion is inspiring, and her joy is contagious. What about these things? I knew for a fact she was doing great behaviorally and socially as I watched her interact with her peers and adults; I saw how advanced she was in many other areas. But none of that was mentioned. Instead, I walked out of that meeting feeling like I failed my daughter as a parent and that the world was going to hold her up to these high standards while ignoring her strengths.

Not all special education systems are this way. In fact, my closest friend is a special needs teacher. She is incredible as are many others. I am the kind of mom who supports teachers and requires my children to respect them in a way that says: “If you’re in trouble at school, you’re in trouble at home.” But I also know that some of us aren’t as fortunate to have a great experience with special needs programs. And the following quote may be exactly what YOU need to hear stated before your next IEP meeting:

“Before we begin this IEP meeting, I just want to take a moment to tell you how amazing your child is. We’re going to talk a lot today about all of the things your child can’t do, but I need you to know that he is so much more than the sum of his deficits. Your child has his own personality with unique strengths and interests that make him such an awesome little guy. If we had more time, I would love to sit down with you over coffee and chat about all the precious moments that I have shared with him. But today is for helping him. So yes, we are going to focus on what he can’t do, but that is only to make sure that he has exactly the right services to reach his full potential and shine through as the amazing person that you and I know him to be! Are you ready to tack this with me?” –Unknown

My daughter’s teachers and therapists did not present her IEP in this way. And after two years of emotional meetings and watching my daughter struggle, we have changed schools. Since then, she has transformed into a different child. She is receiving love and praise, and her teacher wants her to be the best she can be rather than pushing her to meet a standard. She is happy and thriving.

Maybe you’re watching your child struggle, and you don’t feel like you have the right support in place. Save the quote above and read it to yourself before a difficult IEP meeting.  And if your child is in a school that doesn’t seem to acknowledge her capabilities, find a support system that does. There are MANY out there ready to love and accept your child for exactly who he/she is!

Children don’t need to be folded and squished into a box. They just need people to step outside of it with them to see their unique point of view.

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Adoption

5 Things About Adoption I Wish Others Knew

by Amanda Foust
written by Amanda Foust

Adopting my daughter almost three years ago has been an incredible journey. There are highs and lows, but every situation has made our love grow! Adoption isn’t a topic typically discussed unless you are directly impacted, but you never know when a family member or friend may choose adoption! Unless you experience it yourself, many don’t understand the process or the right way to talk about it. I’ve had many people unintentionally insult the way we built our family, and it’s because they simply don’t know any better.

We know you mean well, but knowledge is power, so, here’s 5 things I wish others knew about adoption:

14184278_10209222757343675_7154140146309846212_n

Photo Credit: Roxana Snedeker

Note: For the sake of this article, I will refer to my daughter as my “adopted daughter,” but the first thing to know is that when addressing my family, we prefer both children to be introduced the same and not one as the “adopted child.”

Here we go…

1. Adoption isn’t a plan B.

When I announced we were adopting, most people assumed we weren’t able to have biological children. For some couples, that is their reason for adopting. But for most, it is not. Either way, couples who adopt do not go into it considering their adopted child to be their second choice. When people assume an adoption is a plan B, they unintentionally treat the adopted child like a plan B. When I announced we were pregnant three months after adopting my daughter, so many people approached me with much more excitement saying things like, “Wow! It’s a miracle! They say after you adopt, most people are able to have a baby of their own.”

There are many things wrong with this statement. 1. My adopted daughter is a miracle too. 2. An adoption doesn’t automatically make a person more likely to conceive. 3. An adopted child is my “own” as well. Which leads me to my next tip…

2. An adopted child is just as much a member of my family as my biological child.

There is no difference. Adopted children are our “actual,” “real,” and “own” children. Using those words to an adoptive family are not appropriate. If you are trying to distinguish a difference, please use the term “biological” child.

3. Adoption comes from pain.

Many people have told me how “lucky” my daughter is since being adopted. Adoptive families often discuss how frustrating this phrase can be. These children should never be made to feel “lucky” that we gave them what every child deserves. Their stories are painful and they walk around with trauma that was never supposed to be theirs to carry. Adoption is a beautiful example of redemption, but the pain that is there shouldn’t be ignored with the words “blessed” or “lucky.”

4. The location of where we chose to adopt is irrelevant.

Sure, feel free to ask about the birth country, but do not judge the response. There are children in need everywhere. No child from a continent, country, state, or city is better or worse. A child here in the states is in just as much need and as important as a child in another country. They all matter. Where the child was born is not a choice of theirs and neither is losing their family. If there is a way to give a child the family he/she deserves, cross whatever oceans you need to cross or go right next door. The location of the adoption is not a concern when a child is in need and should not ever be questioned or criticized.

5. Adoptive families often feel lonely and misunderstood. Find a way to support!

Not everyone is called to adopt, but I truly believe everyone is called to support adoption is some way. Families like mine often feel misunderstood and lonely. Read a few articles online about adoption, ask questions (preferably not in front of the children), be there when the attachment isn’t working, when the trauma reappears, and we struggle finding ways to connect with our kids, and when we feel like no one understands. You don’t have to understand, but listen and give us your time and love. We need it just like you do!

What questions do you have about adoption? We would love to write more about this topic and could use some advice on where to start. Tell us in the comments!

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AdoptionFaithHeartwarmingKids

6 Adorable Adoption Announcements

by Leena Kollar
written by Leena Kollar

As I type this, I’m getting all teary eyed and mushy. Because I think that adoptive parents are so incredibly brave, selfless and amazing! Don’t get me wrong, parents of all walks of life are those things, but there’s something about adopting a baby that really gives me warm fuzzies all over. Bringing a child into your life as your own to love, raise and care for is a remarkably beautiful thing. You know what else is beautiful? These adoption announcements. Prepare to get all the feels when you look at these.

source: My {Grace Filled} Mess

1. Jimmy & Leah

Because adoption doesn’t have many of the guarantees that come with birthing your own child, sometimes you don’t know where your baby will come to you from. This map announcement is super cute and creative! A sweet little boy was brought to Jimmy & Leah, filling their lives with so much joy!

Read more of their story on My {Grace Filled} Mess. Make sure you have a box of tissues nearby!

source: Pursued Promise

2. Troy & Nicole

Two things that can make you smile, no matter what? Babies and puppies. So my GOODNESS this is cute! These four legged fur babies got a new baby sister who I’m sure they love licking and snuggling up to. Troy & Nicole have so much to be thankful for. What a beautiful family and story.

Visit Pursued Promise to read about their journey.

source: We Love St. Patrick’s Day

3. Adam & Shelli

Oh my gosh, this is so creative! I can tell just by looking at this adoption announcement that this little guy is so, so loved. What a great way to make memories, even before their sweet boy has arrived.

Adam & Shelli adopted two boys, and they share their struggles and story on their adoption blog, We Love St. Patrick’s Day.

source: Journey of Faith

4. Tim & Deborah

Not only did this couple hope to adopt a baby, they hoped to adopt two from India! Can you imagine taking home twice the love? How amazing. Deborah speaks beautiful words about adoption on Journey of Faith, where she documents their story:

“Adoption affirms to my child  that she is of incredible value, and that she belongs with her Mama and Papa. Adoption gives her a future, and a here and now, in a family. Her family. Adoption helps to restore what has been lost. For everyone.”

source: simply.lovely.today.

5. Alisha & Family

I often assume that when a couple is planning to adopt, they don’t have any other children. But the truth is, many families with biological children also feel called to adopt (I hope to fall into that category someday). Announcements like this, that involve a couple’s existing children are sooooo cute! My wish for this family is that their sweet girl gets to experience the joy of being a big sister.

Follow Alisha and her family’s journey over at simply.lovely.today.

photo-1

source: And That Makes Three

6. Steve & Sara

They say “laughter is the best medicine,” and for Steve & Sara, it seems like laughter was a big part of their adoption process. This announcement is funny and lighthearted, and I love the expression on Steve’s face. The two reveal on their website, And That Makes Three, that a little boy made his way into their home and hearts. So happy to hear such wonderful news!

Leena Kollar

Leena Kollar

Contributing Writer at Life As Mama
I'm a wife, mother and everything else associated with domestic life. I can often be found hiding from my kids to sneak treats (especially ice cream). I love rainbows and naps, and I find any excuse to go to Target. When I actually make it out of the house in real clothes, I document my outfits on my fashion blog, Leather & Lip Gloss. My love for fashion also inspired me to start my own comprehensive style website, The Style Spectrum.
Leena Kollar
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AdoptionHeartwarmingVideos

This Adoption Reveal Will Have You In Happy Tears!

by Karly Wood
written by Karly Wood

We see pregnancy, gender and even baby reveals often but not too many surprise adoption reveals, although they are just as exciting. Over the holidays, an Air Force couple returned home and decided to surprise their mom and mother-in-law with the ultimate gift: a baby! Adoption can be a long process, so grandma wasn’t expecting to see her new grand baby when she rounded the corner to greet her son and daughter in law. We are so glad they caught this heartwarming moment on film for all of us to see!

I could watch this video over and over! It just goes to show how a baby is so special and brings families together in so many ways. Even though she came at Christmas, she truly is a gift for the whole year.


Karly Wood

Karly Wood

Editor at Red Tricycle
I'm a born and bred Southern California native and currently the managing editor at Red Tri. I get to share my life with my husband of 13 years and our beautiful, 5-year old daughter. In my free time you'll catch me cheering for the Dodgers, cooking, baking, reading, crafting and probably watching a little HGTV!
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