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Adoption

8 Attachment-Based Activities For Adoptive Parents

by Amanda Foust June 5, 2017
by Amanda Foust 11.7K views
11.7K


Children from hard places require a process that leads them toward attachment. Unlike babies who hear their mother’s voice from the womb, a child from adoption or a foster situation needs extra time and energy spent on forming positive attachments.

“The more the child feels attached to the mother, the more secure he is in his acceptance of himself and the rest of the world. The more love he gets, the more he is capable of giving. Attachment is as central to the developing child as eating and breathing.” ― Dr. Robert Shaw

attachment-based activities

You see, your child may not remember neglect, hunger, or abuse in a vivid way, but his/her body always will. There are triggers that need to be worked through and trust that needs to be built.



Sometimes the idea of attachment is scary to adoptive families. They ask, “What if they never attach?” But the good news from Fi Neweed is: “We do not need to know the beginning of a child’s story to change the ending.”

So how do we change the ending? Here is a list of 8 attachment-based activities for adoptive parents.

1. Games that require eye-contact.

Eye-contact isn’t always easy for kids with trauma. Though they should never be forced to look someone in the eye, playing games together that require a connection visually is a great way to encourage attachment.

2. Piggy-Back Rides

This offers physical touch and helps build trust. It can be intimidating to ride on someone’s back, but it’s also a lot of fun! Start slow and then work your way up to running and twirling with your little attached to your back!

3. Do each other’s hair, makeup, or face paint!

My daughter loves doing hair, so this is a great way for her and me to connect. She has even started doing her dad’s hair in “pigtails” and barrettes. Doing one another’s makeup or painting faces is also a great way to offer touch that doesn’t feel awkward as there is a purpose with the touch.

4. Dance together.

One of the best ways to connect through dancing is to hold the child in your arms and close up against your chest. This may feel uncomfortable to the child at first so work your way up to this! It’s a synchronized activity that also offers a feeling of closeness.

5. Play Peek A Boo.

This game offers eye contact and shows the child that you’re still there even if you can’t see each other!

6. Trade love notes.

Once the child can read and write, words of affirmation through leaving love notes in a notebook or slipped under the door can really mean a lot to a child!

7. Sing songs.

Scoop your child up onto your lap and sing songs together! Choose songs that are quiet and soothing at first and then you can branch out to different genres. A slow, calming voice like a mother uses with a baby is important to use with a child from hard places until trust is built!

8. Practice showing grace along with discipline.

“The children who need love the most will always ask for it in the most unloving ways” ― Russel Barkley

Disciplining a child who has experienced trauma is much different than a child who has been with you from the start. Your main attachment focus should be on showing grace! As the quote above reminds us, these children may ask in unloving ways, but they simply want love and loyalty!

When adoption attachment is hard, remember that your relationship with your child impacts his/her entire life! Dr. Dan Siegal said, “The relationship you have with your child shapes the structure and function of your child’s brain.”

Don’t give up! Try different things until you find what works! Attachment’s best for everyone involved, and though it takes time,

Ask us in the comments if you need more support along your adoption journey so we can help point you to more resources!

Attachment-Based Activities for Adoptive Parents

 

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Amanda Foust

Amanda Foust

Amanda is a wife, mother, writer/editor, and certified life coach. Pen and paper make her spirit come alive. She spends her creative time reading, decorating, and handwriting fonts. Her world is better with an assortment of chocolate and a stack of books packed and ready for travel. She works each day to be a creative maker and a light bringer. You can find more of her writing at Downs, Ups & Teacups and TheDailyPositive.com.
Amanda Foust

Latest posts by Amanda Foust (see all)

  • 10 Last Minute Teacher Gift Ideas - November 29, 2018
  • 10 Healthy And Tasty After School Snacks - August 16, 2018
  • What My Kids Have Learned From Seeing A Working Mom - August 8, 2017

 

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  • Bio
  • Latest Posts
Amanda Foust

Amanda Foust

Amanda is a wife, mother, writer/editor, and certified life coach. Pen and paper make her spirit come alive. She spends her creative time reading, decorating, and handwriting fonts. Her world is better with an assortment of chocolate and a stack of books packed and ready for travel. She works each day to be a creative maker and a light bringer. You can find more of her writing at Downs, Ups & Teacups and TheDailyPositive.com.
Amanda Foust

Latest posts by Amanda Foust (see all)

  • 10 Last Minute Teacher Gift Ideas - November 29, 2018
  • 10 Healthy And Tasty After School Snacks - August 16, 2018
  • What My Kids Have Learned From Seeing A Working Mom - August 8, 2017
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Amanda Foust

Amanda is a wife, mother, writer/editor, and certified life coach. Pen and paper make her spirit come alive. She spends her creative time reading, decorating, and handwriting fonts. Her world is better with an assortment of chocolate and a stack of books packed and ready for travel. She works each day to be a creative maker and a light bringer. You can find more of her writing at Downs, Ups & Teacups and TheDailyPositive.com.

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Motherhood and Moms Lifestyle – Live like a Mom | LifeAsMama
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How Much Does It Cost to Adopt a Child?

Understanding the financial implications of adoption can be overwhelming for many prospective parents. Adoption costs vary greatly depending on the type of adoption, including domestic, international, and foster care adoptions. While some adoptions may incur minimal fees, others can range from thousands to tens of thousands of dollars, often requiring careful financial planning and budgeting.

Additionally, it's crucial to consider ongoing expenses such as legal fees, home studies, and post-adoption support services. Many families find financial assistance through grants, loans, or even employer-sponsored adoption programs. Exploring these options can significantly ease the financial burden and make the adoption process more accessible to many loving families.

How Can I Adopt a Baby: A Comprehensive Guide

Adopting a baby is a fulfilling journey, but it requires thorough preparation and understanding of the adoption process. Prospective parents need to educate themselves on the different types of adoption, including agency adoptions, private adoptions, and foster care adoptions. Each path has its own set of requirements, timeframe, and legal implications, which can vary significantly from state to state.

Furthermore, prospective adoptive parents should prepare emotionally and practically for the journey ahead. This includes completing the required home study, gathering necessary documentation, and attending training or counseling sessions as mandated by adoption agencies. Additionally, building a support network can be invaluable for navigating the complexities of adoption and ensuring a smoother transition into parenthood.

6 Tips For Making Your Home Something You’re Proud Of

Creating a welcoming and nurturing environment is essential for adoptive families to build strong attachments. Parents can start by personalizing their home with family photos, artwork, and decorations that celebrate their family's story. Thoughtful organization and creating dedicated spaces for family activities can also foster a sense of belonging and security for children.

Moreover, it's important to consider safety and comfort within the home. Implementing child-proofing measures, ensuring proper sleeping arrangements, and providing cozy areas for relaxation and play can make a significant impact. Ultimately, creating a home that reflects love, warmth, and acceptance allows children to thrive and feel secure in their new family environment.

Seven Things You Should Know Before Adopting A Child

Before embarking on the adoption journey, it's vital for potential parents to equip themselves with knowledge about the process. Understanding the emotional, social, and legal factors involved can help ease apprehensions and pave the way for a smoother experience. Education on attachment issues, the importance of open communication, and the potential impact of trauma are crucial for preparing to meet the needs of an adopted child.

Furthermore, acknowledging and preparing for the challenges that may accompany adoption can help families adapt and grow. This includes being open to ongoing support, whether through counseling or connecting with other adoptive families. By cultivating a mindset that prioritizes understanding and compassion, parents can foster a nurturing environment where their adopted child can flourish.

To The Parents Facing Adoption Fears

Adoption can evoke a mix of emotions, including hope, fear, and uncertainty for prospective parents. It’s normal to experience doubts about your ability to support a child who may have a difficult past. Recognizing these fears is the first step in addressing them, and many resources are available to help parents navigate their feelings, whether through counseling, support groups, or educational materials.

Moreover, fostering an open dialogue within your family regarding fears and expectations can be a crucial aspect of the process. Encouraging connection and support from family and friends can provide reassurance as you take this significant step. With perseverance and resources at hand, parents can turn their fears into strengths, ultimately creating loving homes for children in need of a family.

How To Create A Peaceful Calming Corner For Your Child

A calming corner can be an effective tool for helping children manage their emotions and feelings. It gives them a safe space to retreat when they feel overwhelmed, allowing them to process their feelings and find comfort. To create an inviting calming corner, include soft seating, comforting toys, and visual aids like calming posters or books that promote mindfulness.

Incorporating sensory items, like fidget toys or soothing music, can enhance the effectiveness of this space. Teaching children how to use their calming corner as a self-regulation tool can empower them to take charge of their emotional wellbeing. As children learn to navigate their feelings, they develop a greater sense of self-awareness and resilience, fostering a more peaceful home environment overall.

How Much Does It Cost to Adopt a Child?

Understanding the financial implications of adoption can be overwhelming for many prospective parents. Adoption costs vary greatly depending on the type of adoption, including domestic, international, and foster care adoptions. While some adoptions may incur minimal fees, others can range from thousands to tens of thousands of dollars, often requiring careful financial planning and budgeting.

Additionally, it's crucial to consider ongoing expenses such as legal fees, home studies, and post-adoption support services. Many families find financial assistance through grants, loans, or even employer-sponsored adoption programs. Exploring these options can significantly ease the financial burden and make the adoption process more accessible to many loving families.

How Can I Adopt a Baby: A Comprehensive Guide

Adopting a baby is a fulfilling journey, but it requires thorough preparation and understanding of the adoption process. Prospective parents need to educate themselves on the different types of adoption, including agency adoptions, private adoptions, and foster care adoptions. Each path has its own set of requirements, timeframe, and legal implications, which can vary significantly from state to state.

Furthermore, prospective adoptive parents should prepare emotionally and practically for the journey ahead. This includes completing the required home study, gathering necessary documentation, and attending training or counseling sessions as mandated by adoption agencies. Additionally, building a support network can be invaluable for navigating the complexities of adoption and ensuring a smoother transition into parenthood.

6 Tips For Making Your Home Something You’re Proud Of

Creating a welcoming and nurturing environment is essential for adoptive families to build strong attachments. Parents can start by personalizing their home with family photos, artwork, and decorations that celebrate their family's story. Thoughtful organization and creating dedicated spaces for family activities can also foster a sense of belonging and security for children.

Moreover, it's important to consider safety and comfort within the home. Implementing child-proofing measures, ensuring proper sleeping arrangements, and providing cozy areas for relaxation and play can make a significant impact. Ultimately, creating a home that reflects love, warmth, and acceptance allows children to thrive and feel secure in their new family environment.

Seven Things You Should Know Before Adopting A Child

Before embarking on the adoption journey, it's vital for potential parents to equip themselves with knowledge about the process. Understanding the emotional, social, and legal factors involved can help ease apprehensions and pave the way for a smoother experience. Education on attachment issues, the importance of open communication, and the potential impact of trauma are crucial for preparing to meet the needs of an adopted child.

Furthermore, acknowledging and preparing for the challenges that may accompany adoption can help families adapt and grow. This includes being open to ongoing support, whether through counseling or connecting with other adoptive families. By cultivating a mindset that prioritizes understanding and compassion, parents can foster a nurturing environment where their adopted child can flourish.

To The Parents Facing Adoption Fears

Adoption can evoke a mix of emotions, including hope, fear, and uncertainty for prospective parents. It’s normal to experience doubts about your ability to support a child who may have a difficult past. Recognizing these fears is the first step in addressing them, and many resources are available to help parents navigate their feelings, whether through counseling, support groups, or educational materials.

Moreover, fostering an open dialogue within your family regarding fears and expectations can be a crucial aspect of the process. Encouraging connection and support from family and friends can provide reassurance as you take this significant step. With perseverance and resources at hand, parents can turn their fears into strengths, ultimately creating loving homes for children in need of a family.

How To Create A Peaceful Calming Corner For Your Child

A calming corner can be an effective tool for helping children manage their emotions and feelings. It gives them a safe space to retreat when they feel overwhelmed, allowing them to process their feelings and find comfort. To create an inviting calming corner, include soft seating, comforting toys, and visual aids like calming posters or books that promote mindfulness.

Incorporating sensory items, like fidget toys or soothing music, can enhance the effectiveness of this space. Teaching children how to use their calming corner as a self-regulation tool can empower them to take charge of their emotional wellbeing. As children learn to navigate their feelings, they develop a greater sense of self-awareness and resilience, fostering a more peaceful home environment overall.