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Adoption

To The Parents Facing Adoption Fears

by Amanda Foust April 27, 2017
by Amanda Foust 4.3K views
4.3K


From a young age, I knew I wanted to adopt. The idea of kids living without a permanent family devastated me. I didn’t quite understand why taking a family from an innocent child would ever happen, but I knew I wanted to offer some kind of “second chance” to kids who were handed circumstances they didn’t deserve.

However, I often thought about adoption on “my terms.” I wanted the process to be as easy and comfortable as possible: the younger the child the better, minimal trauma experienced, closed adoption to avoid any family drama, etc.

adoption fears

It wasn’t until the Lord worked on my heart to say “yes” to any child we were given, no matter what, that I began to see the true beauty of adoption — and that it wasn’t about me! This doesn’t mean that every adoption opportunity we were given actually came to pass, but what it does mean is we had to learn to trust God to close the doors rather than our fear.



Our first adoption experience we got our referral call, and it was mixed with both excitement and fear. We were told our daughter may not survive as she was severely malnourished. She was across the ocean battling hunger while we did everything we could to give her the nourishment she needed to keep fighting. Thankfully, God provided and blessed her with an amazing foster family who took care of her needs and loved her as their own. But it was scary saying yes, and I worried every day. I look back on that first phone conversation and know without a doubt it was God pushing me to say “yes” because her health was not something I willingly wanted to tackle. I was selfish and full of fear.

But now, I can’t imagine ever saying no.

Since then, we have been in another adoption process with several referrals that have fallen through on their end, but not on ours. Children of all ages, all types of trauma, and even open adoptions have been presented to us. Everything opposite of what I initially wanted adoption to look like — each call stretching me outside my comfort zone and teaching a lesson that “It’s not about me.”

I’m fully confident that God is actively involved in each and every adoption story. Of course, it wasn’t His plan for their first family to fall apart. But God gives us free will, and the world is broken. He does, however, give beautiful second chances when we say “yes”! Take it from someone who used to make it all about herself; adoption is about saying “yes” and watching God equip you and swell your heart with love you didn’t think could grow in uncomfortable and scary circumstances.

Because it can and it does.

When you feel fear start to creep in and steal your “yes,” remind yourself:

Adoption is not about you. Sure, you want to be sure it’s right for your family, but make sure your hesitancy is coming from a good place and not just a place of fear.

You don’t have to be enough because GOD is enough.

If you’ve covered your adoption process in prayer, you can trust God to shut the doors if it’s not the right fit. I’ve seen this first-hand.

Sure, children from hard places may have “problems” but, honestly, who doesn’t have problems? I know I come with a set of problems of my own and have never been without the love of a family. We need each other.

Scars may always be there, but they DO fade with time.

There are resources and support out there to help you along the way!

We hope that this eases your fears a bit and opens your heart. And if adoption isn’t for you, consider supporting a family who has or is adopting. We can all play an important role in giving kids the second chance they deserve!

 

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Amanda Foust

Amanda Foust

Amanda is a wife, mother, writer/editor, and certified life coach. Pen and paper make her spirit come alive. She spends her creative time reading, decorating, and handwriting fonts. Her world is better with an assortment of chocolate and a stack of books packed and ready for travel. She works each day to be a creative maker and a light bringer. You can find more of her writing at Downs, Ups & Teacups and TheDailyPositive.com.
Amanda Foust

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Amanda Foust

Amanda is a wife, mother, writer/editor, and certified life coach. Pen and paper make her spirit come alive. She spends her creative time reading, decorating, and handwriting fonts. Her world is better with an assortment of chocolate and a stack of books packed and ready for travel. She works each day to be a creative maker and a light bringer. You can find more of her writing at Downs, Ups & Teacups and TheDailyPositive.com.

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Motherhood and Moms Lifestyle – Live like a Mom | LifeAsMama
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How Much Does It Cost to Adopt a Child?

When considering adoption, one of the most pressing questions prospective parents often ask is about the financial implications of the process. The costs associated with adoption can vary significantly based on the type of adoption pursued, whether it be domestic, international, or through foster care. In general, domestic infant adoptions tend to be the most expensive, often ranging from $20,000 to $40,000, while public adoption from foster care may incur minimal fees, making it a more accessible option for many families.

Beyond the immediate costs, it's important to consider potential hidden expenses that might arise throughout the adoption journey. These may include legal fees, travel costs for out-of-state adoptions, and expenses related to pre- and post-adoption services. Understanding the full financial picture is crucial for families to prepare adequately, ensure they are making informed decisions, and to recognize that there are grants and resources available to help ease the financial burden.

How Can I Adopt a Baby: A Comprehensive Guide

The process of adopting a baby can seem overwhelming at first glance, especially for first-time prospective parents. However, breaking it down into manageable steps can make the journey more straightforward. Beginning with thorough research on different adoption agencies and understanding their policies will help clarify the pathways available to you. It’s also crucial to familiarize yourself with the documentation required, including background checks, financial disclosures, and home study guidelines.

Once you've settled on an adoption agency, establishing an open line of communication will be vital. Your caseworker will guide you through the specifics of your chosen adoption process, assisting with paperwork and providing emotional support. Each family's journey is unique, and being adaptable and patient during this time can lead to a fulfilling experience as you welcome a new baby into your family.

Six Tips For Making Your Home Something You’re Proud To Share

Creating a warm and inviting home environment is essential for feelings of security and stability, especially for adopted children who may have experienced trauma. One effective way to make your home welcoming is by personalizing spaces to reflect the personalities and interests of your family members. This can include showcasing photographs, incorporating meaningful artwork, and creating cozy areas where family members can connect, relax, and feel at ease.

Additionally, keeping your home organized and clutter-free can contribute significantly to its inviting atmosphere. A tidy space reduces stress and can promote a sense of calm, which is beneficial for both the parents and children. Involve your kids in the organization process to help them feel a sense of ownership over their new home and foster responsibility, making the transition smoother for everyone.

Seven Things You Should Know Before Adopting A Child

Before embarking on the journey of adoption, there are several critical aspects that prospective parents should consider carefully. Understanding the unique challenges and joys that come with adoption can help set realistic expectations. Importantly, awareness of the potential emotional and behavioral issues children from traumatic backgrounds might face is vital, as it prepares parents for supportive and compassionate parenting.

Another factor to consider is the importance of openness and communication within the family. Developing a narrative around adoption that is age-appropriate can help children feel secure in their identity. Establishing a strong support system, whether through adoption forums, parent groups, or professional counseling can provide invaluable resources and connections for navigating the complexities of adoptive parenting.

Eight Attachment-Based Activities For Adoptive Parents

Attachment-based activities serve as a wonderful avenue for adoptive parents to foster a secure and trusting relationship with their children. These interactive experiences can range from simple games focused on teamwork to creative projects that encourage expression and bonding. Simple things like reading together, playing board games, or engaging in arts and crafts can contribute immensely to building emotional connections, allowing children to feel safe, loved, and understood.

Incorporating physical activities, such as outdoor play or sports, can also strengthen these bonds. Engaging in shared hobbies not only promotes collaboration but also facilitates communication, which is crucial for forming lasting attachments. The key is to prioritize regular interaction that encourages positive experiences, creating a nurturing environment where children can thrive emotionally and socially.

How To Create A Peaceful Calming Corner For Your Adopted Child

A peaceful calming corner can be an invaluable resource for adopted children, providing them with a safe space to retreat when they feel overwhelmed. To create such a sanctuary, choose a quiet area in your home filled with comforting items such as soft cushions, blankets, and personal keepsakes that your child can relate to. The goal is to combine comfort with a sense of ownership, so allowing your child to help select the items that go in their calming corner can enhance its effectiveness.

Additionally, incorporating sensory tools like fidget toys, stress balls, or even a small water fountain can promote relaxation and help regulate emotions. Encourage your child to utilize this space whenever they need a break, making it a comforting habit that fosters emotional self-regulation. This corner can serve as a refuge, enabling them to recharge and find their center, which is especially beneficial for children coping with anxiety or stress from their past experiences.

How Much Does It Cost to Adopt a Child?

When considering adoption, one of the most pressing questions prospective parents often ask is about the financial implications of the process. The costs associated with adoption can vary significantly based on the type of adoption pursued, whether it be domestic, international, or through foster care. In general, domestic infant adoptions tend to be the most expensive, often ranging from $20,000 to $40,000, while public adoption from foster care may incur minimal fees, making it a more accessible option for many families.

Beyond the immediate costs, it's important to consider potential hidden expenses that might arise throughout the adoption journey. These may include legal fees, travel costs for out-of-state adoptions, and expenses related to pre- and post-adoption services. Understanding the full financial picture is crucial for families to prepare adequately, ensure they are making informed decisions, and to recognize that there are grants and resources available to help ease the financial burden.

How Can I Adopt a Baby: A Comprehensive Guide

The process of adopting a baby can seem overwhelming at first glance, especially for first-time prospective parents. However, breaking it down into manageable steps can make the journey more straightforward. Beginning with thorough research on different adoption agencies and understanding their policies will help clarify the pathways available to you. It’s also crucial to familiarize yourself with the documentation required, including background checks, financial disclosures, and home study guidelines.

Once you've settled on an adoption agency, establishing an open line of communication will be vital. Your caseworker will guide you through the specifics of your chosen adoption process, assisting with paperwork and providing emotional support. Each family's journey is unique, and being adaptable and patient during this time can lead to a fulfilling experience as you welcome a new baby into your family.

Six Tips For Making Your Home Something You’re Proud To Share

Creating a warm and inviting home environment is essential for feelings of security and stability, especially for adopted children who may have experienced trauma. One effective way to make your home welcoming is by personalizing spaces to reflect the personalities and interests of your family members. This can include showcasing photographs, incorporating meaningful artwork, and creating cozy areas where family members can connect, relax, and feel at ease.

Additionally, keeping your home organized and clutter-free can contribute significantly to its inviting atmosphere. A tidy space reduces stress and can promote a sense of calm, which is beneficial for both the parents and children. Involve your kids in the organization process to help them feel a sense of ownership over their new home and foster responsibility, making the transition smoother for everyone.

Seven Things You Should Know Before Adopting A Child

Before embarking on the journey of adoption, there are several critical aspects that prospective parents should consider carefully. Understanding the unique challenges and joys that come with adoption can help set realistic expectations. Importantly, awareness of the potential emotional and behavioral issues children from traumatic backgrounds might face is vital, as it prepares parents for supportive and compassionate parenting.

Another factor to consider is the importance of openness and communication within the family. Developing a narrative around adoption that is age-appropriate can help children feel secure in their identity. Establishing a strong support system, whether through adoption forums, parent groups, or professional counseling can provide invaluable resources and connections for navigating the complexities of adoptive parenting.

Eight Attachment-Based Activities For Adoptive Parents

Attachment-based activities serve as a wonderful avenue for adoptive parents to foster a secure and trusting relationship with their children. These interactive experiences can range from simple games focused on teamwork to creative projects that encourage expression and bonding. Simple things like reading together, playing board games, or engaging in arts and crafts can contribute immensely to building emotional connections, allowing children to feel safe, loved, and understood.

Incorporating physical activities, such as outdoor play or sports, can also strengthen these bonds. Engaging in shared hobbies not only promotes collaboration but also facilitates communication, which is crucial for forming lasting attachments. The key is to prioritize regular interaction that encourages positive experiences, creating a nurturing environment where children can thrive emotionally and socially.

How To Create A Peaceful Calming Corner For Your Adopted Child

A peaceful calming corner can be an invaluable resource for adopted children, providing them with a safe space to retreat when they feel overwhelmed. To create such a sanctuary, choose a quiet area in your home filled with comforting items such as soft cushions, blankets, and personal keepsakes that your child can relate to. The goal is to combine comfort with a sense of ownership, so allowing your child to help select the items that go in their calming corner can enhance its effectiveness.

Additionally, incorporating sensory tools like fidget toys, stress balls, or even a small water fountain can promote relaxation and help regulate emotions. Encourage your child to utilize this space whenever they need a break, making it a comforting habit that fosters emotional self-regulation. This corner can serve as a refuge, enabling them to recharge and find their center, which is especially beneficial for children coping with anxiety or stress from their past experiences.