7. You’re stronger than you think.
“You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only option.”
We know this all too well. Any parent that is told their child has cancer will immediately think, “I can’t do this.” But you can. And you will. Because your baby depends on you. You will pull through. You will fight every battle. You will overcome. You are so much stronger than you think you are.
I have had so many parents tell me, “I couldn’t do that if I were you! You’re so much stronger than I would be!” But that’s not true. If you truly thought about having to fight this with your small baby, you would fight strong. You would find courage in your heart and become the lionheart that your child needs. It sucks, bad. It’s not fun. It’s not something I would wish on my worst enemy. But it is something you can get through. You HAVE to take everything a day at a time. Don’t look at the big picture, look at the fact that your baby isn’t in heaven yet. Don’t look at how long you have left, but rejoice in the fact that the chemo didn’t make your baby sick today. Don’t think about the future challenges that come with battling cancer, think about the fact that you will be happy if your child GETS a future. It’s not an easy thing, thinking about the fact that you may lose your little one. But you are stronger than you think. Don’t get me wrong though; even with the strength of a lion, some things never get easier.
8. It never gets easier to watch your child walk away in the arms of a surgeon.
If your baby is going through any kind of cancer, they will at least have one surgery- to place their port, so every cancer parent will understand this horror. But if they have a type of cancer that requires surgery more than once, you will suffer through waiting rooms, the unknowns, and watching your baby be taken away with doctors to a scary room that they don’t understand over and over again.
Our daughter has had 20 surgeries in the last 2 years. And you might think it gets easier the more you do it, but this is one thing that never changes in difficulty. You are always nervous. Always looking around the room waiting for the doctor. Always scared. The Pre-Op room allows you to spend time with your baby, give them lots of kisses, tell them it will be okay, sign paperwork stating you know the risks include death, and prepare your own heart for what’s to come. When they’re ready, they wheel your little child in their bed down the hall. You can only follow for a couple hallways, then you have to stay behind. And you watch your precious baby walk away from you in the arms of a stranger. They take you to the waiting room with a nod, a smile, and reassuring words.
Then you wait. It feels like forever. The doctor said it would only take an hour and it’s now been two. What’s taking so long? What if something went wrong? Thoughts start to circulate in your head, trying to make yourself believe everything is fine. Then the doctor appears. Everything went okay, everything is fine, you can see her now. The amount of relief that washes over you is something you will never feel in any other situation. You see your child hooked up to machines. Bloody and connected to oxygen. Puffy from the IV, crying because of the anesthesia. That’s when you realize; they have it so much worse than you. You may be emotionally distraught, but they are suffering physically as well. And that’s how I finally came to the conclusion:
9. God picks His strongest warriors for His hardest challenges.
“Sometimes real superheroes live in the hearts of small children fighting big battles.”
You will never see more strength in someone’s eyes than the eyes of a child fighting cancer. They will smile after coming out of surgery. They will want to play games while chemo is pumping into their body. They will act like nothing is wrong when their blood is so low they need a transfusion. If you don’t believe me, go volunteer on the cancer floor of your nearest children’s hospital. You will see kids trying to play and laugh and have fun despite everything they’re going through. They are so incredibly strong. They are frail, they are bald with no eyelashes or eyebrows, they are pale, and they smile so large it breaks your heart.
We were in clinic one day and my daughter was fighting the nurse so hard when they were trying to draw blood. She was kicking and screaming and even though she only had one working arm at the time, she would pull and push and grab at everything they put near her. I gave a half smile to the nurse and apologized for her stubbornness. The nurse smiles back at me and said words I will never forget. “Never apologize for her strength and stubbornness. It’s the stubborn ones that make it through this. They have a fire and a fight in their souls. The stubborn ones win.” After that, I smiled to myself every time she would fight them. I always think, “fight on baby girl.” I know she needs these procedures done, but as long as she’s fighting, I know she wont give up. I know she will make it through.
These kids don’t know any better. This is their life now and they continue to live it to the fullest. The strength and perseverance you see in child cancer fighters is absolutely amazing. I will forever be impressed by how well they are able to handle every situation thrown at them.
Childhood cancer is not normal. It is not natural. It is something that should be completely eradicated from this world. But we learned to live with what we were dealt, despite how much I wanted to run away and cry. I certainly did cry, a lot, and still do, but I would never run away. It’s not an easy life, but it’s ours. And I would live this a million times over, as long as I got to spend these days with our little girl.
Author Bio
Simone Tipton is a mother of two: a 3–year old extremely intelligent son, and a 2-year old cancer-fighting daughter. She lives in California with her wonderful husband of 4 years. She loves to write, paint, and create art in her free time. She is a strong believer in Christ and loves the outdoors. To follow Scarlette’s story beating cancer, visit her Facebook page, Smiles For Scarlette.