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Marriage

happy marriage with a newborn baby
BabyFamilyMarriageMotherhood

Newborn Babies and Marriage: How To Keep Your Relationship Alive During Those First Few Months

by LifeAsMama
written by LifeAsMama

Having a child is, undeniably, one of life’s greatest joys, but when you have a newborn your priorities will instantly change. Learning to parent alongside your partner takes up a large bulk of your time as a couple, alongside the usual household chores, early mornings and day to day jobs, many couples often find that they spend less and less time as they once were, which can be hard to adjust to.

Adjusting to these new demands as parents and finding time to nurture your marriage or relationship is important for your mental and emotional wellbeing – you’ll likely find that you need one another’s support now more than ever! There are some simple things you can do which will keep your relationship thriving during those first few months of adjustment and keep you both, and your new bundle, happy.

Make A Date

Before your baby was born, you probably thought your schedule was busy enough. Now, it probably feels overwhelming, what with working, cleaning, feeding and caring for your new baby. Inevitably, your time together spent as a couple is likely to have been sacrificed. By arranging a date where you will both spend time together means that you will likely make this into a habit and this comes with great benefits for you, your partner and baby.

Your dates might start as a coffee or glass of wine in the kitchen after you’ve put the baby to bed, talking about your day, but when you feel ready to leave your newborn for a few hours, this could turn into a movie or dinner date. If you don’t quite feel ready to leave your baby yet – and this is fine – then why not take turns cooking for one another during the week? Spending time together and alone should be a priority and made into a regular occurrence, no matter what you decide to do.

date night married couple newborn baby

Show Your Affection and Appreciation

Think back to when you first began dating. You likely called your partner just to say “hello” or ask how their day was and this doesn’t need to stop just because you’ve had a baby! Whether you leave a note for them in their pocket before they head out for work, make them a cup of coffee in the mornings or just buy them their favourite treat after a long day – it doesn’t need to be a huge romantic gesture, just something which shows them that you’re thinking of them, it could even be taking their diamond jewellery engagement ring or your wedding rings to get polished!

roses gift newborn baby marriage

Make Time To Switch From Mom and Dad to Wife and Husband

Just because you have a newborn doesn’t mean that you’re now known as Mom and Dad. It is important to be firm with your parenting routines so that you get time to make that transition after a long or tiring day. Once you’ve put your baby to bed (hopefully for the night!), it’s time to switch back to you. Whether you decide to take a nice long shower with your favourite products, have an uninterrupted hot drink or just sit and watch your favourite tv show together for 20 minutes, whatever you need to do to make this transition, make time for it. Being parents is a 24/7 job which never ends, but you and your partner will feel better and find it a little easier if you are both happy and find time for yourselves. It’s important to remember that you are both on the same team – there are no winners or losers!

husband and wife happy marriage

About the Author

Natalie Wilson is a freelance wellness and lifestyle writer. She loves researching and writing about new wellness trends and topics, as well as keeping up to date with the latest news. When not writing, you can find her taking long walks in the countryside with her dog or browsing her nearest bookstore. You can connect with her on Twitter @NatWilson976.

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Simple tips to improve your marriage
Marriage

Simple Tips To Spice Up Your Marriage

by Guest Contributor
written by Guest Contributor

Every relationship is unique, but what they all have in common is that they require work. As time goes by, you may begin to notice that the passion between you two has cooled down. Sometimes, it’s because we did something that hurt our partner’s feelings or it may be an everyday routine that has to lead you to this place. No matter the reason, if you want to spice up your relationship it’s time for some action. Sure, good communication is essential in every relationship, but sometimes, simple words just aren’t enough. They say that actions speak louder than words so let us guide you through some small things you can do to warm up a cold relationship.

Don’t make assumptions.

This sounds easy, but the reality is that sometimes it’s really hard to resist the whirlwind of bad thoughts when we notice that our partner behaves differently. Mastering the ability to control your thoughts is a wonderful virtue both in and out of a relationship. If your partner has just come home in a really bad mood, don’t snap at them or take an interrogative approach. This will only make things worse. They will feel the need to defend themselves and instead of having a calm and reasonable conversation, you’ll probably end up fighting. Instead, tell them that you noticed the way they feel and ask if everything is ok. This approach will open the door to communication and in most cases, the truth will be a far cry from the assumptions you made.

tips for a happier marriage

Sweeten up your relationship.

Chocolate is without a doubt on the top of the list when it comes to ways of showing affection. Whether it’s a Valentine’s Day, a birthday party, or a simple way to show some love to the people you care about, it’s been a part of different kinds of celebrations since forever. If you’re looking for a way to spice up your long-term relationship, go for some delicious chocolate goodies. Most people would agree that they love chocolate because it tastes good. On the plus side, it makes you feel good too. That’s because cocoa contains Phenylethylamine and serotonin, both responsible for lighting up pleasure areas in the brain. This is why it’s probably the sweetest aphrodisiac in the world. There’s a great variety of options to explore. White or dark, boxes or chocolate fountains, plain or flavoured, chocolate is an easy and tasty way to warm up your relationship.

Flowers are always a good idea.

Speaking of presents, the options are endless. Although you can surprise your loved one with a new gadget or a trip to a spa centre, some gifts are classics. Flowers will always be in style. A gorgeous bouquet of fresh flowers is an effective way to express your emotions. This is especially a common gift in countries like Australia where the warm and sunny climate provides endless types of lovely fresh flowers perfect for any occasion. If you don’t have a flower shop nearby, do your research and explore the amazing choice of gorgeous flowers in Sydney has to offer. Flowers have a great deal of symbolism so take your time to get clued up about it. If you want to send the right message, make sure to pick the right types and colours of flowers together with an appropriate message attached to the bouquet. Many shops offer the possibility to order your bouquet online and they will deliver it to your home. Sounds perfect, doesn’t it?

Picture of romantic couple on date with flowers

Make a collage of your old memories.

Sometimes, in the craziness of everyday stresses and hectic schedules, we tend to forget all those wonderful times we spend with our partner. Therefore, if you want to warm up your relationship, one of the easy ways is to evoke those sleepy feelings. Collect all your pictures and memorabilia. Get yourself a nice board or even better – make one. You can find all the necessary materials in the local craft store. Be creative when it comes to the shape of the board and its decoration. Aside from the pictures which are touching enough, add some game or theatre tickets and other little things that will remind that person of all the happy moments you spent together. As a final touch, don’t forget to write something thoughtful about it. This is the sign of affection that will melt almost anybody’s heart.

Exercise together.

Finding a new and fun activity that you share is an easy yet useful way to bring you closer. Exercising has numerous benefits on its own, but doing it together with your partner will make things even more interesting. Exercising regularly will not only give you leaner muscles but it will put you in a better mood, too. Speaking of a better mood, your libido will get higher. Working out speeds up your heart rate and increases your blood flow, especially in the pelvic region. What’s more, it releases endorphins or so-called “happiness” hormones. Working out also efficiently battles stress, which is undoubtedly one of the greatest sex-drive killers out there. Hitting the gym together as a couple will introduce a new activity into your daily routine plus it will spice up things in the bedroom as well.

Couple exercise together outside

Give each other some space.

This may sound contradictory, but give it some thought. Spending time apart is as equally important as spending time together. Even though your partner’s friends adore you (and vice versa), both of you need to spend some time alone with your friends. Don’t make each other feel guilty about doing this and don’t check on each other every five minutes. Giving each other space will only bring you closer. Having separate social lives and being respectful of that will strengthen your relationship.

Final thoughts

Being in a relationship means that you need to shake things up a bit from time to time. It will keep the fires of passion lingering, which is very important. It will also improve communication and warm up the relationship that has turned cold. Sometimes it may seem like a challenging task, but with the right tips, you’ll soon bring back those sleeping butterflies. 

About the Author

Stella Ryne is an art historian, traveller, conscious consumer and a proud mother. When she is not trying to improve the things around her (and herself, for that matter), she likes to lose herself in a good book. Stay in touch with Stella via Twitter and  Facebook.

 

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FamilyLifestyleMarriage

7 Reasons Why You Should Discuss Your Career Before Marriage

by LifeAsMama
written by LifeAsMama

Your career is an important part of your relationship. 

While it doesn’t hold your hand or make you laugh, it does determine how financially stable you are, whether you’re equipped to start a family, how much free time you have with your spouse, and where you are currently living.

Needless to say, these are some pretty important factors in a happy marriage. That’s why it’s so important to discuss where you see your career paths headed before getting married – not after!

Don’t let your future career moves come as a shock to your sweetheart. 

Here are 7 reasons why you should discuss your professional goals with your spouse before you head for the altar.

  1. It’s Just Good Manners 

When you love someone, you want to be open and honest about your intentions – especially if they are considering sharing their life with you.

For example, perhaps you are working your way up to run the business you are in and need to devote extra time to your work for the next few months or years. This would require patience on behalf of your partner. Are they comfortable sharing you with your work for as long as you both shall live?

It is simply good manners to keep your spouse updated on where you see your life headed in the future so that they can plan accordingly. 

  1. It Gives an Idea about your Financial Future

There is no doubt that your career path will affect your standards of living. 

Do you plan on pursuing the life of an entrepreneur? If so, this will greatly impact how you and your spouse will live.

Statistics show that 90 percent of new start-ups will fail, meaning your decision to pursue your dreams will not be an easy one. Entrepreneurs often rely on their spouses to take care of the household financial needs while they are building their business.

The finances you share with your partner will also determine what you can do with your life. If you want to have children, financial stability is a must. The same goes for buying a home or traveling together.

  1. You May Not Agree

One big reason to discuss your future career plans with your spouse is that they might not agree with your goals and decisions. For example, your partner may not be as thrilled as you are about your taking on overtime every single week.

Or perhaps your spouse works days and you exclusively work nights. This may cause problems within the marriage as this schedule would not afford you an opportunity to have regular quality time together throughout the week.

Discussing your career moves gives you and your partner an opportunity to work through any disagreements you may have about where you see your futures going.

  1. Potential for Relocation

Your career choice has the potential to affect where you live. Whether it’s the nature of your job or due to a promotion, your work may involve regular travel or a complete relocation.

It’s important to share this information with your spouse before you get married. They may not be as jazzed about moving to a new country for the next five years as you are – or they may love it! The point is, you will never know until you discuss it openly.

If your spouse has agreed to marry you, letting them know about your potential plans for relocating would be the loving thing to do. After all, they likely have easy access to friends and family where you currently live. They probably also work in your current city. Springing a sudden move on your partner would not be respectful.

  1. Discuss Your Life Goals

When you get married you are blending two lives together. You are creating a new path to walk as a couple. But what will you do if you get married only to realize your futures don’t align?

This is why it is important to discuss where you see this path going before you’ve committed to one another for the rest of your life.

Discuss your goals regarding where you want to live, whether you want to buy or rent a home, how you plan to retire, share or separate debts, start a family, and more. 

marriage-

  1. Improves Trust

Imagine this scenario: You have just married the love of your life. You live together and have your lives planned out and firmly planted in your city. Now your spouse comes to you stating that their intentions all along were to move across the country for work, but they never clued you into their plans.

Would this be a loving situation? Of course not! You would feel left out of the loop of your own life. 

A marriage is a partnership. Couples should not make important life decisions alone, nor should they want to. They should want to openly discuss their goals and dreams with their spouse, as a team. By doing this not only do they show love and respect for their spouse, but they also improve trust.

  1. It’s Healthy to Communicate

If you know how to communicate with your spouse, you’re already ahead of the game. Studies show that communication leads to improved sexual satisfaction and greater relationship quality. 

This is no surprise. It has often been said that communication is the foundation of a great relationship. It helps couples get to know one another better and work as a team. Knowing how to communicate also helps solve arguments in a way that is fair and respectful. 

When you communicate with your partner about your career goals before you tie the knot is a way of preparing for marriage then you promote a healthy, satisfying relationship.

marriage

Your career can take you to many places in life. It can bring you to a new country or to a different socioeconomic class. Wherever your professional life takes you, you want your partner to be there by your side. Communicate openly with your spouse about your career goals before you walk down the aisle to ensure you’re on the same page about your future.

Author Bio:

Rachael Pace is a noted writer currently associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of her motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying about today’s evolving forms of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on all types of romantic connections. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.

 

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FinancesMarriage

6 Financial Things to Consider Before Marriage

by Guest Contributor
written by Guest Contributor

Marriage isn’t just a matter of romance. Although love should be the main reason why you seal the deal with your significant other, there are other critical aspects to consider, if you wish to keep your marriage alive. Before even signing the papers, you should discuss important matters, like finances, assets, or retirement plans, with your future spouse. Here are six financial things you should cover before getting married…

Discuss your opinions about money

Different stands on money can break your marriage in the future. Seeing that most of us have strong opinions about money-saving and expenditure, not having the same views about the subject could tarnish your relationship. Some people are more secretive about their spending habits and like to hide where the majority of their money goes. Others are more upfront about it. Your spouse might want to put more money on the side, while you might be more casual about saving. If you don’t see eye to eye in this particular case, chances are it will start to bother at least one of you shortly.  Most of the times, these habits are formed from our upbringing, and are not easy to get rid of, or correct. The safest way to approach this matter is to start recognizing your patterns of behavior and pinpoint those negative sides. Then, with the help of your spouse, you can slowly start changing the behaviours that are not benefiting your marriage.

Plan your estate

Planning far ahead is necessary if you wish to sort all your affairs, and leave a clean plate. That’s why estate planning is so important. Planing what will happen with your property and financial assets, and that your family is taken care of after you die is essential, if you wish to do right by everyone. Otherwise, unsorted financial aspects might lead to feuds of the beneficiaries of your estate if they fell they didn’t get what they deserved. So, have a talk with your spouse, and plan and update items like your will, life insurance policies or investment funds, and elect who will be the beneficiaries. This is imperative, even more in the case if there are more heirs involved, especially children from different marriages.

Prenuptial agreements

Prenups are not considered romantic, and just talking about them might kill the vibe, but in most cases, they are recommended. Many financial planners and accountants advise making these agreements, to avoid being sorry later, especially if you are bringing more assets than your spouse into your marriage. Research made with a thousand participants in Australia reveals that, although 74% of them thinks prenups are okay and justifiable, only 18% of them have such a contract. Such contracts are there to protect your interests in the case of divorce and are not anti-marriage. So, it is essential to talk about these matters before getting married, openly and honestly, without hurting anyone’s feelings. Your safest choice would be to hire experts, like the divorce lawyers from Sydney, who will guide you through this process, and have your best interests in mind.

The debt status of your partner

Make no mistake, you will share both the good and the bad when getting married. This means that all the debt your spouse has acquired over the years will become yours. So, before getting hitched, you might want to get a glimpse into what their liabilities are. If your partner has doubts about sharing this info with you or seems to dodge this issue, then you might have something to worry about. Give different, open-minded approach to this matter, without judging them. If they still don’t want to discuss this matter, you might want to reconsider your options. The basis of any successful marriage is honesty, and you should always be able to have an open dialogue about such issues. It is your right to have an insight into this, as it might strongly affect you in the future!

Financial and family goals

Setting the same financial course for you and your family is imperative for a healthy marriage. Therefore, it is crucial to discuss your attitudes about risk-taking and money. Most people have strong opinions about this, and it would be wise to make financial plans and goals for the foreseeable future. Only when you come clean about what you want to do with your money, you’ll be able to move forward. It is up to you whether you’ll invest your money in real estate, set it aside, or invest in the stock market. If you plan to start a family, you need to have a talk about what will it look like. How much money will you need? How many children? Will one of you stay at home to look after them, or will you pay for daycare? There are literally hundreds of questions you should talk about with your spouse.

Income source

Being fully aware of your spouse’s income source, or sources is one of the essential things to talk about before getting married. Whether they have a steady, nine-to-five job, with a fixed salary, or they are freelancing with unpredictable monthly income, you need to be informed about it. You need to know whether you will be able to meet all your monthly financial obligations together. Bills, mortgages, and food are all things you need to find the money for every single month. And even though it is perfectly fine to have an unpredictable source of income, you still need to make a long term plan on how you will deal with these issues in rough times.

Final thoughts…

Getting married means sharing everything with your spouse, whether you like it or not. Finances are often one of the main obstacles in a marriage, especially if you were not open about them in the beginning. To increase the chances of having a successful union, you should be clear about every aspect of your financial status, from indebtedness and retirement plans, to tax information and intent to sign a prenuptial agreement. Only then will your partner be able to trust you fully, and vice-versa!

About the Author

Emma Williams is an Australian writer with a master’s degree in business administration, who has a passion for anything lifestyle and design related. She spends most of her time redecorating and participating in house projects. As a great nature lover, her biggest pleasure is spending time in a small cottage by the river.

Find her on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/EmmaWilliams204

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FamilyMarriage

5 Fantastic Ways To Stay Physically Fit Together

by Guest Contributor
written by Guest Contributor

If you want to spend more quality time with your spouse while getting healthier, couples’ workouts are the perfect solution!

Start by finding a time that works best for both of you to work out. This may require getting up extra early to get your workout in or devoting more time to staying active after work instead of plopping down in front of Netflix as soon as you get home (Bonus: If you work out at home, you can do both!)

Marriage courses can help you and your spouse set fitness goals and deepen other aspects of your relationship that can help you on your fitness journey. Here are 5 ways you can stay fit with your partner and 5 benefits of doing so.

1. Go Biking Together

Cycling is a great aerobic activity. This gives your lungs, heart, and blood vessels all a fantastic workout.

Biking is also a great option for couples because it’s easy. Everyone knows how to ride a bike! Not only does this exercise option put you out in the fresh air and give you an opportunity to explore your city, but it can be done at any time of day and without a gym membership.

2. Hit the Gym

Working out at the gym is a classic way to stay physically fit with your partner.

It may not be as cheap as working out at home or exploring nature, but it does offer you a great variety of workouts to choose from.

Most gyms offer different classes, a wide range of cardio machines, pools, spas, and weight machines to choose from.

This allows you to have a perfectly balanced workout and to try new things together.

3. Take a Class

One fun way to get your workout on as a couple is by taking a class together such as kickboxing, dancing, pilates or a workout bootcamp.

Learning a new skill while improving your health is great. But, there’s more! Couples who share hobbies, such as dancing or hiking, reported higher levels of marital satisfaction than those who don’t share activities.

Married couples also experience a decline in stress and greater happiness when spending quality time together.

4. Walk, Jog, Run

Unlike intense and intimidating workouts like CrossFit, getting your cardio through steps offers you the opportunity to go at your own pace. You can go for a lovely early morning or after-dinner walk with your sweetheart, jog briskly around the block to get your blood pumping, and slowly build up to being able to run together.

Running and walking have endless benefits. One is that you don’t have to spend money to get fit. The potentially slower pace of walking also allows you to have productive conversations with your spouse along the way.

It is also good for your health. Running can tone your legs, help you lose weight, improve your breathing, and reduce stress.

5. Do Yoga

If you want to get fit as a couple but aren’t sure about getting sweaty at the gym, never fear – yoga is here!

Yoga is great for both your physical and mental health as a couple. Not only does all of that stretching, holding, and posing do wonders for toning and shaping your body, but it’s also wonderful for helping you find inner peace and calm.

Yoga has also been shown to relieve stress, depression, and anxiety.

The Benefits of Working Out With Your Spouse

Now that we know the many awesome ways you and your partner can get your workout on together, it’s time to look at the benefits of doing so.

Motivate and Encourage

Taking a marriage course is another great way to stay motivated to work out while also strengthening your relationship.

This online marriage course will show you and your partner how to improve your communication skills, deepen intimacy, and learn the importance of setting goals as a couple.

Setting goals are healthy for you as partners since it teaches you to cooperate and rely on one another. It also triggers satisfaction and happiness when you accomplish something.

Boost Efficiency

Research shows that having a little friendly competition with your spouse can actually double the amount of time you spend working out.

And what if your partner is more capable or experienced than you at working out? Even better! The Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology reveals that working out with a more experienced partner boosts the inexperienced partner’s drive at the gym by 24 percent.

Stick to your Workouts

A study published by Indiana University Bloomington found that couples who workout together are more likely to stick with their exercise routine.

Another study found that people who seek a healthy lifestyle are 14 percent more likely to stick with the program than those who tried to lose weight solo. Couples who workout together are also 42 percent more likely to keep the weight off!

Lower Stress and Anxiety

Exercise is great for reducing stress and anxiety – especially when done with a partner.

The International Journal of Stress Management found that people who rode bikes for thirty minutes with a partner reported feeling calmer post-workout than participants who solo cycled.

Stay Accountable

One great benefit of working out as a couple is that you are accountable to one another. There is no “Ah, I’ll just skip my run this morning!” when you’re working out as a team.

Not only will this help you stay on track with your fitness goals, but studies show that working out as a team enhances the duration of the workout, as well as consistency and motivation.

Staying fit with your spouse is a great way not only to draw closer but to up your health-game. Working out with a partner means you up your efficiency at the gym, lower stress, and stay motivated to continue. By using marriage courses and workouts to your advantage, your relationship will be as solid as your abs!


About the Author

Sylvia Smith is a writer who likes to write about relationships and how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. She is currently associated with Marriage.com. She is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt its principles in their relationships. By taking purposeful and intentional action,  Sylvia feels any relationship or marriage can be transformed and truly enjoyed.

 

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MarriageMotherhood

5 Things I Wish I Had Known Before I Became A Mom

by Modi Ramos
written by Modi Ramos

Before I had kids, I was a completely different person. I embrace motherhood as my authentic self, and I don’t try to fit into a mold of what I am “supposed” to be, but rather, what I want to be. My late mother was by no means a traditional mother, and I applaud her for that. Being true to your authentic self will help you to be happier and not feel as if you’ve lost your identity when you are deep in your journey of motherhood.

Here are 5 things I wish I had known before I became a mom…

You Will Turn Into Your Mother, Regardless of The Million Times You Swore Up And Down That You Never Would

Ladies, you know exactly what I’m talking about right here. It’s that moment when you’re frazzled, tired, probably haven’t showered, laundry up to your eyeballs, and some tiny human is begging you to make them macaroni. You lose it. All the cool flies out the window. You’re huffing, puffing, feeling defeated. I have definitely been there. It’s like I’ve been teleported back to my own childhood, and I’m shaking my head at this mother I’ve become. But you know what? Parenting is hard work! I don’t care what the scenario is, it’s not for the faint of heart. And that full circle moment when you flip the script is when you’ll see that look in your kid’s eyes mirroring back at you what you once felt. Hint: there’s a reason moms like wine! (AKA mom juice.)

You Will Not Always be Perfect. Learn to Let That Sh*t Go.

Oh, man. I cannot preach this one enough. I am a person who sets the bar for myself extremely high. I want to do it all, have it all, be it all, and I want to look good doing it. But that is just not real life. After my son was diagnosed with Autism a few years ago, I realized it wasn’t worth killing myself over all the things I thought I could do. I learned that sometimes in life the little moments are actually the big moments. And it’s not about an award, or fancy jewelry, or a raise, or clicking with the PTA kiss-ass moms at school. It’s about those tiny humans and the person you’re raising them with. Stop and smell the roses sometimes. It’s worth it.

Your Partner Should Always Be Your #1

What came first? The chicken or the egg? In the case of kids, it’s the partner. It doesn’t matter if you’re married, dating, engaged, whatever. You are committed to the tiny humans that you created or adopted together. That’s what’s most important. I know we can become wrapped up in all our kids’ schedules, needs, care, etc. But putting your spouse on the back burner time after time is a recipe for disaster. Your partner needs to know that they’re still clinching the top spot. Value them, lift them up, be a team. And if they’re guilty of putting you on that back burner, don’t be afraid to voice your needs. It’s okay, and sometimes, they won’t know unless you tell them!

There is Beauty and Kindness in This World, Be The One To Show it and Teach it

It doesn’t matter where you live, if you turn on the local news, you can feel as if you’re raising your kids in a scary place. Although there is danger out there, there are silver linings and beauty all around us. There are still good people in this world even if you feel that we hear more sad stories than good. It’s up to you to show your children the beauty all around us and to teach them to treat others kindly regardless of the way they look, act, or speak. We are all different, and the world would be a boring place if we were all the same. Encourage your children to be unique and embrace their originality. If more of us appreciated differences, the world would be a much better place. And more importantly, negativity towards others is a learned behavior. Children are so sweet and pure, but they’re also little sponges that pick up on your actions and words. I know I sometimes let curse words fly, I’m not perfect by any means, but I treat others with kindness and teach my kids to do the same.

Self-Love and Self-Care Go Hand-in-Hand

Look, I get it. I’ve gotta do beauty on a budget, too, most of the time. Sure, I wish I could afford to buy nice things for myself or to spend money on things for me, but that’s not something I can do. Self-care doesn’t have to cost a dime. Sometimes it’s as small as reading, going for a walk, working out, maybe even taking a hot bath. In some cases, it’s just getting a few minutes alone to yourself each day. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. Value yourself and do not feel selfish for needing time to just be you. Something I like to do is to take showers in the evening while my husband can watch the kids, and it sure beats shower Schizophrenia that most moms can relate to.

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MarriageTips & Ideas

15 New & Improved Date Night Ideas for the New Year

by Karly Wood
written by Karly Wood

Having healthy time away from your kids with your partner or spouse is necessary to being a sane human being, but often times it gets put on the back burner due to time, finances or just pure exhaustion. You don’t need to spend a lot of money to have a great date night! Here’s a list of some new and creative ideas for your next date night.

date night ideas

1. Yoga Together

True, 99% of us will not be performing the pose seen in the photo above, but you don’t have to be a yogi to have a date night together. The practice of yoga is a perfect match to a date night with your partner, where you can each spend time developing awareness and mindfulness (in addition to stretching and challenging your body)––perfect aspects for improving your relationship! After your class, hit up a smoothie bar or snag a healthy meal.

date night ideas

2. Get Amused

Amusement parks aren’t just for kids––they’re for parents too! I know my husband and I thoroughly enjoy a trip to our local amusement park without kiddos because we finally get to enjoy the “big kid rides.” You most definitely do not have to spend hundreds of dollars for a ticket to a giant park, especially if your town has a smaller version as an option. You can also hit up the state or county fair depending on the season. The only requirement? HAVE FUN!

date night ideas

3. Lessons

Whether you’ve been dying to improve your ballroom dancing skills, brush up on cooking or want to learn to ride horses, signing up for lessons can be a great way to have regular date nights! Not only will you gain some mad skills on a hobby you love, you’ll be bonding with your partner too. Just make sure it’s something you’re both interested in before signing up!

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summer date night ideas
Marriage

20 Summer Date Night Ideas That Cost Less Than $20

by Karly Wood
written by Karly Wood

When summer comes around, it feels like everything is about the kids. Summer camps, school, and playdates make our schedules seem too packed to do much else. But the hot weather is also the perfect time to plan out some summer dates with your main squeeze, and it doesn’t have to be expensive. There are tons of summer date night ideas out there, and many of them involve staying at home. I, for one, need to get out of the house once in awhile and that’s why this list is all about getting away from the kids and spending some one on one time with your spouse. They all cost less than $20 and I hope you love them as much as we do!

summer date night ideas

Summer Date Night Ideas

1. Beach, lake or pool day

2. Concert in the park

3. Go for a hike, bike ride or play a pick-up game of your favorite sport

4. DIY projects- think picking out flowers for the house, and then planting them while listening to music and enjoying an iced tea!

5. Enjoy iced coffees at your local coffee house

6. Go berry picking

7. Movie in the park or a drive-in

8. Free winery or brewery tour

9. Shop at the local farmers market, swap meat or flea market

10. Visit a museum on free entrance days

11. Buy a travel book and plan your next vacation

12. Do a free yoga class together- most studio offer the first class for free!

13. Hit up a minor league baseball game- they are fun but at a fraction of the cost as an MLB game

14. Go canoeing, kayaking or paddle boarding

15. Go out for Happy Hour drinks and bring a card or board game

16. Check out your local summer carnival or fair

17. Participate in your local bar’s trivia night

18. Volunteer together

19. Enjoy a summer picnic at a local or regional park

20. Buy a bottle of cheap wine and enjoy some stargazing together

 

summer date night ideas

Karly Wood

Karly Wood

Editor at Red Tricycle
I'm a born and bred Southern California native and currently the managing editor at Red Tri. I get to share my life with my husband of 13 years and our beautiful, 5-year old daughter. In my free time you'll catch me cheering for the Dodgers, cooking, baking, reading, crafting and probably watching a little HGTV!
Karly Wood

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FamilyMarriage

Be Affectionate With Your Kids. They Need It. And So Do You.

by Modi Ramos
written by Modi Ramos

I can count on one hand how many times my mother told me that she loved me. And I can count on two fingers how many times she told me that I made her proud.

Those words matter. Not only to a child, but also to an adult.

When I was growing up, had it not have been for my father who I saw irregularly, I would never have received affection at all. My mother was just not that type of person. As a child–when your perspective is rather limited to not much else besides your family–you think of things as “normal” because you don’t really know the difference.

I didn’t mind it then, not receiving affection, because I naturally assumed this was how all families are.

Clearly, I was wrong.

Not being affectionate with a child for several years plants a seed that can not be ripped out. It embeds deep into the very core of a human being and provides an excuse for why someone doesn’t feel a need to embrace another. If you’ve never received affection, chances are, you won’t be one to crave it.

Perhaps I am crazy, but I’ve heard stories over the years and I am well-aware that I am not the only person affected by this poisonous cycle.

It starts with a hug. For any person who is not affectionate, a hug can feel like an uncomfortable silence you pray ends promptly. The feeling of touching someone to feel connected is not something your brain feels it needs. It has become conditioned to feel nothing. It has trained itself that those things are not needed so that it does not feel hurt or neglect. It releases a feeling of strange discomfort in the moments when it actually occurs.

And to rewire it to think differently—to realize that those things are needed—is no simple task.

If I had not become a mother, I honestly don’t think I ever would have genuinely confronted this issue. I would have naturally dismissed it in my mind as being irrelevant and avoided it at all costs.

As soon as I held my first child in my arms, the day that I became a mother, I wanted nothing more than for her to feel loved every single second of her life in every little bone of her fragile baby body.

This was also a good day for me, because I got to hear both of those words I needed to hear from my mother as she saw me hold my firstborn in her arms.

I know that we are all different people, but having been deprived of my needs as a child made me suffer. I know I am not alone when I say this. I know that other people can relate. There is a wall that we create and build up so high for fear of someone seeing in and thinking we are weak because of it.

The first person who suffers greatly is your significant other. I have hurt my husband with my lack of affection. But he knows that I love him. We each show our love in different ways. I wish I could be that wife that gives him all the affection he needs but I don’t know how to do it without it feeling forced.

My kids will never, ever suffer like I had to. They are amazingly kind and loving, and I know that this is because my husband and I fill their little buckets up with love. Our children will grow up knowing that it is okay to show affection to those that you care about, and they will feel full because I will reach for their hand when we walk, I will give them hugs just because, and above all, I will verbally affirm to them each day that they are loved.

affectionate

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role models
FamilyMarriage

5 Simple Ways Parents Can Be Relationship Role Models For Their Kids

by Jordyn Smith
written by Jordyn Smith

Parents serve as their children’s first role models. Parent’s are the first people to teach their kids life skills and serve as an example for how they should treat others and expect to be treated by others. As little kids who will one day grow up and turn into adults with relationships of their own, it is important that you and your partner serve as role models for good relationships.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you have to be perfect, but it does mean that you should try your hardest to be a good partner. Here are 5 simple ways that you and your partner can be relationship role models for the sake of your children and for the benefit of your partnership.

role models

1. Teach Them That Relationships Should Be Fun

It’s no secret that relationships require hard work to stay healthy and functioning. That doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t also be fun. Show your children that, at the center of every relationship, is a happy, loving couple. Let them see you being playful, happy, and silly with one another. It is important that your kids understand that happiness and love are fundamental to a good life and a good marriage.

2. Show Them What Apologies Look Like

No one is perfect, mistakes happen in life and in relationships. When you or your partner make a mistake, make sure you apologize the right way. Less, “I’m sorry you feel that way” and more “I’m sorry I’ve made you feel that way.” This can benefit your kids when it comes to non-romantic relationships as well. With you, with their friends, with their siblings. Teach them that real apologies are always meaningful and always come from the heart.

3. Be Open With Expressions of Love

Growing up, my parents never shied away from showing us how much they loved each other. We often saw them hugging, holding hands, and cuddling, the same way we often heard them exchanging “I love you’s.” We all know how important it is to always make sure that your kids know how much you love them. After years of marriage and years of slipping into not-always-exciting routines, doing the same with your husband may not be as regular as it used to be. Encourage yourself and your husband to be open with your love in ways that go past the simple gestures you’re used to.

4. Let Them See Real Teamwork

Raising kids requires teamwork. Sometimes this teamwork is exhibited in an equal sharing of all responsibilities and sometimes one partner has to pick up the slack a little bit. Both of these things are valid and necessary. Whether it’s making dinner together or working on a household project, make sure your kids understand that you do what you do for the betterment of one another as well as them.

5. Show Them How To Handle Hard Times

Just like life, just like raising your children, your marriage isn’t always easy. Over time, things can get strained by all kinds of things. This isn’t anything you should be ashamed of. Show your children that there is always a light through the end of the tunnel. With hard work and tons of faith, anyone can get through the hard times with grace and come out beautifully on the other side.

 

role models

Jordyn Smith

Jordyn Smith

A city girl currently living it up in the south with my little family. I love baking, hoarding makeup, and daydreaming. If I'm not writing, I'm probably trying to think up weird pizza recipes or watching Property Brothers.
Jordyn Smith

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