Oh, mommy shaming. I didn’t believe it was a thing until I became a mom and then saw how alive and toxic it could be. There is a debate for everything these days: formula vs. breastfeeding, crying-it-out vs. co-sleeping, homeschool vs. public school, organic vs. GMO’s. If it’s a thing, there are moms who will find some way to shame those on the opposite side. If it weren’t for me being sensitive, I’d probably be a “mommy shamer” because it probably feels good to be right all the time *sarcasm.* But since most of what I do as a mom comes purely from a place of survival, I’ve decided I can spend my time more effectively than patting my own back.
I’m sure someone has popped into your head when you started reading this. For me, it was the lady in the check-out line a couple months ago. The one who told me “I would never let my daughter behave that way.” My little one was crying about not getting more than one sucker at the pharmacy. (I wanted another one too but I had to be adult about it). Anyway, I knew I could keep her quiet by giving her a second sucker, but what lesson would that have taught? Sure, the crying was annoying. I wanted to give her free reign of the candy bars aligning both sides of the aisle and tell her, “TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT, JUST BE QUIET!” But moms know their kids best and they have to live with them long term. Knowing this, I decided it was more important she learn to keep her cool than to get whatever she wants. Now, if YOU are in line surrounded by death stares and it’s hurting your feelings…feel free to buy your kid whatever will keep him/her quiet. I don’t care! You know what you can/want to handle, and it’s not me who has to deal with your kid after walking away from the check-out line.
All of us mamas have been shamed at one point or another. And for that, I’m sorry! Here’s what you need to know: you were created to be your child’s mother, which ultimately means there is no one else who will love this child more or equip this child better. Also, we are God’s children first, which means that He can fill in all the gaps where we are weak. In those check-out line moments, I can rely on God to give me discipline discernment, not the mom-expert lady behind me.
Give yourself grace, show yourself love, and walk this motherhood journey with confidence in every step.
