When you are pregnant, truth be told you are just a teensy, tiny bit more sensitive than usual. Or moody. Or just plain easier to tick off. But that’s just one of the joys of being with child and becoming a fun bag of raging hormones ready to release at rapid fire. While hormones are certainly to blame, there are still some people (and particularly, some people you know) who will say things to you that can get you seeing red or tearing up faster than you can say baby bump.
Here are the 10 things we should all stop saying to a pregnant woman.
1. “You’re So Big”(!–usually said loudly, and with extra emphasis on the big part)
This one stings–just a little. Well, if you’re in the later stages of pregnancy it can create a slow burn. And there is always that one particular person that is more inclined to voice their opinions on it each.and.every.time they see you. Take a deep breath, and quickly push it out of your mind. Woosah.
Source: Ed Yourdon via Flickr
2. “Oh, Are You Having Twins?”
Wrong, wrong, totally wrong. Do not ever, ever say this to a pregnant woman unless she’s walking around with a sonogram photo clearly indicating she is in fact carrying twins taped to her baby bump. It’s just a recipe for disaster, be kind and avoid it at all cost.
3. “You’ll Lose The Weight, Don’t Worry”
This is sheer torture for a very expectant mother that may be gaining weight at a rate which feels terrifying. And unless they were pouring their heart out to you about feeling defeated, don’t mention their weight, ever. These are probably the same women who told you they were back in their pre-pregnancy jeans when they left the hospital. Catty remarks like this are about as bad as asking a pregnant woman point blank: “So, how much weight have you gained?”
Source: mike krzeszak via Flickr
4. “Are You Sure it’s a Boy/Girl? Because You’re Carrying Like So…”
These old wives’ tales are pretty silly and unless you have Superman x-ray vision to see through a woman’s stomach, chances are you are going to be totally off on this one. That goes along with the old wives’ tales of cravings, pregnancy myths, etc., that can all easily be debunked. I have two girls and craved completely different foods for each one, as well as carried both completely opposite from one another. So really, there is no truth in these theories whatsoever. Just don’t say this to a pregnant woman.
5. “Wow, You Were Really Hungry!”
If you’re going out to eat with someone and they make this comment to you it will probably take every ounce of your being to laugh it off and resist the temptation to slap them. Especially if it’s your spouse who is equally responsible for putting that bun in the oven in the first place. Just remind them that “you are welcome,” for the baby you are carrying for them. This should quiet them quickly. Source: Jesse Michael Nix via Flickr
6. “Oh, Your Water Isn’t About to Break, Is It?”
When people treat you like you are some ticking time bomb ready to explode it completely takes away from your feelings as a human being–and one carrying a beautiful baby and not gunpowder. Tell them, “yes, any second” in a very sarcastic tone of voice. Another statement just like this would be, “You look like you’re about to pop.” I mean, you’re a pregnant woman, not a balloon, for crying out loud.
Source: Javier Moreno Serrano via Flickr
7. If this is a subsequent pregnancy: “Oh, You’re Having Another Boy/Girl?”
This is just moronic. People can be so callous with the things they say. You do not choose the sex of your baby, so what’s the big deal if you’re having another boy or girl to match big brother or sister. Just not cool. I’ve literally had members of my husband’s family act as if we were in mourning when we found out we were having another girl after having one a year before. And if anyone knows, do not make mama bear-to-be angry. Babies are miracles, regardless of gender. Plain and simple. Source: Tomas Hellberg via Flickr
8. “Did You Want a Boy/Girl This Time?” Or “I Bet You’re Happy You’re Having a Boy/Girl This Time”
This goes with the last one. You should never even think to suggest something like this at all whatsoever. You wanted an amazing, healthy baby–regardless of sex. I always reply with, “I just wanted a healthy baby, that’s all I cared about.” Booyah!
Source: Malingering via Flickr
9. “This is Your Last One, Right?”
If you’re a grown-up, living on your own and footing all your own finances like most adults, what does it matter how many children you have? It’s none of their concern and it’s not like you’re asking them to pitch in for your kid’s college tuition 18 years down the road.
10. “Oh, I Had The Worst Birth Experience Ever”
Please, by all means, do NOT tell us about it while we are impending labor in the next few months. This will only terrify us and make us more nervous/anxious/apprehensive than we already are. Save it for after the birth, please. Or better yet, don’t tell us about it until we ask you at a later date when we aren’t a giant ball of nerves.