Being a mom is the hardest job on the planet. And the catch 22 is that there’s no way to gauge how well you’ve done as a mother until your children are fully grown and on their own. If we want to believe that we’re good moms right now, we need to cut ourselves some slack. We all have days when we feel like we’re failing. Like our children are embarrassed by us and the world sees us as bad apples. But mamas, I’m here to tell you that we’re all doing a damn fine job! The next time you’re feeling discouraged about your skills as a mother, remember these 5 things to boost your confidence.
1. It Takes A Village
Whether you’re a married mom, a single mom, a divorced mom, a stepmom or any other kind of mom, you don’t have to be an “on your own” mom. We all need help in some form. Some moms have nannies, some have housekeepers. Some rely on grandparents for childcare, and some trust teachers to educate their kids. We’re all in this together. There’s no reason to feel guilty asking for help. Just because you’re overwhelmed by the responsibilities of motherhood doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you should take some time to relax and not sweat the small stuff.
2. We All Mess Up
Every single mother on the planet is flawed. We all make mistakes. We all question our decisions. We’re only human, after all! I can assure you that when you have those moments where you think you’re doing everything wrong, you’re not. So what if you dropped your child off late to school yesterday. Better late than never, right? Who cares if you put your foot in your mouth when you said something inappropriate at Junior’s soccer game. The other moms probably thought the same things you said. If we never messed up as mothers, we’d never grow as mothers. We’d never learn, and we’d never appreciate the virtue of forgiveness.
3. Your Concern Proves You’re Great
The fact that you worry about being a good mom is what makes you a good mom! If you weren’t concerned about your children’s well-being, your dedication as a mother might be worth questioning. Maybe sometimes we worry too much about petty things. But isn’t it better to be safe than sorry? First-time moms especially deserve some credit for using “helicopter” style parenting. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, it just means you love your child more than anything- as any good mom does!
4. Motherhood Is A Learning Process
There’s no mom anywhere that can be considered an expert. Sure, maybe some have been at it a really long time, or have more experience because they’ve had more children. But as our children grow, we are constantly reminded of how little we actually know about being mothers! New research, new parenting studies and new ways of doing things often shatter our mommy comfort zones, and we’re left questioning everything we thought we knew. This should offer some relief, and be a sign that it’s ok to do things differently as you find better ways to do them.
5. Your Kids Think You’re The #BestMom
No matter how many times you mess up, no matter how many things you do wrong, no matter how many times you yell at your kids or lock yourself in the bathroom, one thing is certain: your children think you’re the best thing since sliced bread. Whenever you have those “I’m such a bad mom” moments, remember the little people who make this thing called motherhood totally worth it. In their eyes, you’re pure mom perfection.
Leena Kollar
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Leena Kollar
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