It’s no secret that some couples are happier than others. I consider myself really lucky when it comes to my marriage. Both my husband and I are very happy in our marriage, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy or doesn’t take any work. Being happy in a relationship does take a lot of work and effort. It doesn’t just happen. It’s not some sort of fairy tale where the knight in shining armor rides up, rescues the maiden and they ride off in the sunset and live happily ever after. No, there’s a lot more to it than that. Being a happy couple requires effort from both partners. Now, I’m not by any means saying that I am a relationship expert or a love guru, I simply have noticed over the past 7 years of being with my husband that there are certain things we do for each other and with each other that make us happy. Here are 8 simple things to do in a relationship that will make you and your partner happier together.
1. They’re Grateful For Each Other
When you’re married or even in a long term relationship, it’s easy to forget how much your partner really does for you on a daily basis. However, it’s so incredibly important to always keep a grateful attitude for them and all that they do for you and your family day in and day out. Even the smallest things like washing the dishes, changing a dirty diaper, or going to work every day to provide for your family show that they care about your family. Focus on the good that they do and be thankful for them instead of focusing on what they don’t do. Your gratitude will show and will make them feel appreciated and loved.
2. They Have Regular Date Nights
As a couple you need quality time together without the interruptions from noisy, demanding kids. Having regular time each month or every week (if you have an awesome baby sitter!) that allows you and your partner to escape and really enjoy your time together is imperative. It allows you to focus on each other and reconnect which is very difficult to do when the kids are around.
3. They Travel Together
Traveling is one of the best things you can do not only for yourself, but for your relationship. Getting away from the demands of every day to enjoy some much needed R&R allows you both to recharge and find new appreciation for life. If you do this alone, it can make your partner feel left out and it may leave you feeling lonely when you should be having good time traveling. However, doing it together allows you to learn, experience, and have an adventure together that will create lasting memories that neither of you will ever forget.
4.They Do Things Together
Similar to traveling together, it’s important to do things together as well. Now, I’m not talking about watching TV together, I’m talking about doing hobbies together. Find something that you both love whether it be gardening, running, biking, cooking, etc. Having something to do that you both love and enjoy will make you both really happy and since you’re doing it together, it will draw you closer to one another. Having those fun and exciting moments regularly will remind you how much fun you can have with your partner and why you love them so much.
5. They Serve Each Other
There is a well known quote from Ghandi that says, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” I love that quote because serving others not only makes the other person happy, but you incredibly happy as well. That means that doing things for your spouse will not only put them in a good, happy mood, but you, too! You’ll both be happier people and more satisfied when you’re serving one another. It doesn’t have to be anything grand, just simple and thoughtful like taking out the trash, getting up with the baby one morning so your partner can sleep a little longer, or cleaning up after they made dinner. Those small gestures show them how much you care about them and make them feel loved.
6. They Talk To Each Other
One of the most important things to do in a relationship is to talk to each other. However, that doesn’t mean that it actually happens. Life can get the best of us when we’re busy and stressed and sometimes we forget to stop and talk to our partner. We need to make sure that we’re not so focused on ourselves and our lives that we leave them out. Even the smallest things to talk about like how your day was or what to do this weekend can show that you care for their feelings and value their opinions. Also remember that when it comes to talking to people, listening is perhaps the most important part. Don’t just talk to your partner, but listen to them as well so they feel validated and heard.
7. They Speak The Other’s Love Language
If you’ve never heard of or read the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, you need to go buy it today. I’m not kidding, this book is so incredibly important when it comes to understanding how both you and your parter feel loved by how they are treated. Everyone feels love and expresses love in different ways by words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, or physical touch. For me, I love hearing words of affirmation, meaning that I feel most loved when I’m told “I love you,” “You mean the world to me,” “I couldn’t live without you,” etc. My husband, however feels most loved by acts of service so when I clean out his car for him, or put his laundry away, or make his lunch in the morning he feels my love for him. It’s important to know what love language your spouse speaks so that you can best know how to show them that you love them. Knowing this has made a huge difference in our marriage.
8. They Choose To Love Their Spouse
There’s a saying that goes, “Choose your love, now love your choice.” How appropriate is that for being in a relationship? You originally chose the person you love, which is the easy part. Now the hard part is loving your choice. Sometimes it can be hard to love or even like your partner, especially after year and years of being together, but it’s important to make a conscious decision every single day to love the person you chose. No one is perfect and realizing that will help you to see that even if you were with another person, they would have their own set of shortcomings. So, look past the fact that we’re all human and make mistakes, and love the choice you made.