Here’s Why I Waited To Find Out My Children’s Genders Until Birth

gender surprise

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When I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I was ecstatic. My husband and I had names picked out for both a boy and a girl, so we were already ahead of the game. But when the topic of finding out whether or not we were having a boy or a girl came up, we didn’t agree at first. I always thought I would find out what I was having because how else would I plan and prep for the baby’s arrival? My husband, however, didn’t want to know. And since I didn’t trust myself to keep it a secret from him if I found out and he didn’t, he won.

By the time I was pregnant with our second child, my views on finding out my child’s gender before birth had changed. With our second child, I didn’t want to know. And I’m really glad we waited to find out with our first one too. So what changed my mind? Here are 7 things that converted me to a proponent of keeping your baby’s gender a surprise until they are born.

gender surprise

1. There Are Very Few Surprises In Life

You can choose a spouse. You can choose a career. You can choose the color of your cabinets. But you can’t choose what sex your baby will be. And that’s what makes it so exciting! Other than surprise parties, can you think of any major moments in your life that caught you completely off guard? Not knowing whether or not that baby inside of you is a boy or a girl is a sure way to know you’ll have a big surprise come delivery day. This is one thing you can’t choose, and you should celebrate the mystery!

Pregnant Belly

2. Pregnancy Is More Exciting

I remember making bets with people at work during my first pregnancy about whether or not I was having a boy or a girl. I was convinced it was a boy (I was right) but there were times I questioned it. Even seconds before he was born, I wondered if a little girl was going to come out and prove me wrong. You can have all kinds of fun while you’re pregnant, reading up on old wive’s tales and making guesses. You get really in touch with your body when you’re more focused on the way it carries a child.

Mother Holding Baby

3. You’re More Prepared

You might think that finding out your baby’s gender before he or she is born will make you more prepared. But I think it’s the other way around. When you don’t know what you’re having, you have to be really on top of things. You have to scour stores and the internet for products that could work for a boy or a girl. You don’t waste any time getting the nursery set up because you want your baby to have a special place to call “home.” Since you can always customize your baby’s clothes, nursery or toys after birth, you’re also less stressed about finding gender-specific items that a newborn needs.


4. Ultrasounds Can Be Wrong

I’ve heard plenty of stories about people who were told they were having a boy and ended up with a girl, and vice versa. Can you imagine stocking up on tons of pink dresses, ruffled blankets, and baby dolls, only to give birth to a boy? Or decorating the nursery with blue walls and airplanes, then having to redo it all? Even though ultrasounds are an effective way to determine your baby’s gender, they do get misinterpreted. And I would much rather be prepared with gender neutral everything than have to rearrange everything as a new mom.

Bow on Belly

5. God Is In Control

I remember one of my early conversations with my husband, when I was first pregnant, about whether or not we would find out what we were having. He said something to me that really stuck out. “That baby is a gift from God, and if you find out what you’re having, it’s like opening a birthday present before it’s even your birthday.” I thought that analogy was just beautiful. It really didn’t matter what we were having- we were having a baby! And that’s a blessing. We chose to let God take control of it all and just enjoy the 9 month waiting period until we met our little Godsend.

Baby in Nursery

6. You Get Creative With Nursery Decor

For both of my pregnancies, I could have easily chosen a nursery room theme that catered to either a boy or a girl. But instead, we went with an animal theme. We knew it could work no matter what the baby was, and it turned out really cute! (Both of our kids have lived in this room.) When you don’t know whether or not there is pink or blue in your future, you learn how to work your magic with other colors. And no, you don’t have to just do plain green or yellow. There are tons of creative ways to design a gender neutral nursery.

Newborn Baby

7. It Makes Delivery More Exciting

Those last few seconds right before your baby is born are intense as it is. But when you’re waiting to see whether or not there are boy parts of girl parts, it’s super thrilling! It’s that “moment of truth” you’ve been waiting for, and you know that no matter what, you’re going to love that baby to pieces. You don’t have any expectations because you truly don’t know what to expect. And once that sweet little angel has entered the world, your world changes and you realize he or she was well worth the wait!

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Leena Kollar

Leena Kollar

Contributing Writer at Life As Mama
I'm a wife, mother and everything else associated with domestic life. I can often be found hiding from my kids to sneak treats (especially ice cream). I love rainbows and naps, and I find any excuse to go to Target. When I actually make it out of the house in real clothes, I document my outfits on my fashion blog, Leather & Lip Gloss. My love for fashion also inspired me to start my own comprehensive style website, The Style Spectrum.
Leena Kollar

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