It’s common to have some conflict in your relationship. We all come from different places, families and of course we all have our own way of thinking and doing things. This unfortunately means we will come across different topics where we will disagree in our relationships. Once you add kids to the mix, the tension level can rise as you have more decisions to make and higher stakes with little lives to care for. Although these 5 topics are common causes for conflict, there is many ways to avoid them blowing up into bigger issues. Check out how to prevent disagreement on these common topics couples argue about below!
Money is such a huge cause for conflict. Whether you are struggling to make ends meet, or someone is overspending, it’s easy to get into an argument over our finances. The first thing you need to do is create a budget. Account for every dollar and you will know exactly where you stand month to month. If for some reason a certain area is going over budget, take a look at that months expenses and see where you can cut back in other areas. This also means no online shopping sprees and hiding the evidence. Unless of course, it’s in the budget!
2. Parenting Decisions
Nothing quite shakes you to your core like parenthood. You may find yourself feeling overwhelmed with decisions and varying opinions. You may even surprise yourself on what you are taking a stand on and what you are willing to let slide. It’s important to keep discussing how you would like to parent and discipline your kids, checking in regularly with each other to see if you are on the same page. Kids need consistency, and they will attempt to divide and conquer if they don’t see a unified front.
Another common issue that arrises is maintaining our home. The housework feels endless, and there is always a project needing to get done, am I right? However you choose to tackle these tasks, make sure you have discussed who is doing what. This eliminates the frustration of whose job it is to take care of the laundry. In our home we each have tasks we don’t mind doing and those we hate. We try to divide most of the bigger tasks or do them together during our “clean up days” which we include our three-year-old in. Then because I am home, I usually take care of the day to day running of the home. Find a rhythm that works for you but it will a lot smoother of a ride if everyone knows what they need to take care of.
4. Kids Responsibilities
We all know the various ages comes with their own challenges. The sleep deprivation of an infant is different from the exhaustion that comes from endless toddler tantrums. While it’s a bit more difficult to divide up tasks and responsibilities for our kids, we do all have our strengths and weaknesses in our parenting. A lot of times, it’s not what we are saying that causes a disagreement, but how we have worded it. Instead of the tempting phrase, “it’s your turn,” try “I’ve been at this a while, would you be able to step in?” Remember, even though you may be exhausted, frustrated or overwhelmed, (or most likely all three), so is your partner and the best way to handle the job of parenting is as a team.
Our jobs can often be large stresser in our lives. When my husband has to work unexpected hours or my works cuts into our family time, its a game changer for us. Our usually pretty simple schedule gets thrown out of whack and it’s easy to get frustrated, especially with each eachother. Scheduling is so important, especially once you add kids to the mix. Need to both be at work event outside of your normal hours and forgot to get a baby sitter, sound familiar? Too often we’re double booked or squeezing so much in so our family time is cut short. The best thing you can do is to get a family calendar, either electronic or printed, and to fill it with everything you have going on. Check in regularly with your spouse to see if they need any extra support during a busy week and extend a lot of grace during busy seasons. Everyone is feeling the stress during that time and it’s best not to take anything too personally.