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mom friends

mom friends
Kids

6 Reasons You Need Mom Friends

by Ellice Vargas
written by Ellice Vargas

Before I was a mom I didn’t understand the true value of having “mom friends.” I knew my life would be changing and that I wanted to walk this journey with my close friends. Except, when you are the first of your friends to have kids sometimes it can be hard for everything to stay the way it is. Even though I firmly believe we shouldn’t lose ourselves in the lives of our children, mom (and dad) is important too. But we do have different priorities and schedules once you add kids to the equation. I learned really fast that without other mom friends surrounding me I would be drowning in my new normal. So ladies, if you haven’t got yourself a village, buck up the courage and ask that gal at the park you always see to be your Mom friend.

mom friends

1. They Understand

While I still feel the need to apologize for the state or my house (car, hair, kids, etc), I actually don’t need to. Because they’ve have been there and their house probably looks similar too. If you’re running late to a play date because your three-year-old refuses to put on pants, they will understand and just hand you a hot cup of coffee.

2. Advice

I have yet to meet a mom who isn’t full of advice. Yes, while it’s important to pick and choose who to listen to, raising babies next to women who have walked the same path is so important. I can’t tell you how many times I have texted a  friend at 1:00 AM with a question and gotten a response back right away, because they are also awake with their babies.

3. They’ve Got Your Back

Have you ever had that moment with your mom friends when you don’t even have to finish your question and they are already jumping in to help? Doesn’t matter if it’s potty training emergency, grabbing a runaway toddler or stopping by with coffee and ice cream after a particularly long day. They will always have your back because they know exactly how hard and wonderful this motherhood thing is.

4. They’re Comfortable Around Your Kids

There is nothing better then watching your friends love on your little ones. I’m certain that my toddler is more obsessed with my best friend then I am. Typically a lot of my mom friends are much more comfortable with my rambunctious toddler than those friends without kids yet. My kids, like most, can be a lot of work, but when I get together with my other mom friends we often “swap” babies and toddlers because we just can’t get enough of each other sweet kiddos.

5. You Can Be Honest

All those parenting fails and mom guilt trips you’ve been holding onto? Time to let it out, because no one will understand better then your friends who have kids themselves. Even if we haven’t all made the exact same mistakes, you can be sure they know exactly how it feels to mess up. In fact, hearing honest real life moments from my close friends just reminds me I’m not alone and that it’s totally ok to feel the way I do.

6. They Won’t Judge

As long as you pick the right kind of mom friends this is true 😉 But really, we’re not going to judge if you decide to make your own baby food or feed your kid the store bought kind. We also don’t care if you live in yoga pants and mom buns. We all know how long, crazy, wonderful, exhausting and incredible the journey of motherhood. However you decide to walk this road we’re not here to judge one another.

mom friends

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friends as a mom
Lifestyle

5 Ways To Make New Friends As A Mom

by Jordyn Smith
written by Jordyn Smith

As a millennial mom, I am also one of the two women in my “before” social circle to foray into motherhood. This isn’t something that I necessarily dislike or something that keeps me away from my friends, but it is something that makes socializing a little harder. Impromptu mini vacations are absolutely out of the question, and even a double date night has to be planned a while in advance to ensure that a trustworthy, reliable sitter has been lined up. Not all of my interests have changed with motherhood, but my priorities certainly have. While I have absolutely no interest in dropping good friends just because they aren’t parents yet, it does make making mom friends super important. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Navigating the wonderful world of motherhood and mommy friends can be difficult, but with these five tips, you’ll be able to find your newest bestie in no time!

friends as a mom

1. Channel Your Inner Extrovert

This can be said for all areas of your life- the best way to go about making new friends is to put yourself out there. If you see a fellow mom at the park, don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation. Friends can be made in the most random ways and in the most unexpected places. One minute you’re talking about how awful the weather has been and the next you find yourself with a lifelong pal.

Not every mom you speak to is going to turn into your best friend, of course, but you won’t know if you don’t try!

2. Take Advantage Of Local Groups

Mommy groups can be a bit overwhelming at times but they can also be a great way to meet new moms. From mommy and me playgroups, to stroller strides, to Wednesday night bible study at your church. Most of your local group gatherings are completely safe and, even if they aren’t necessarily intended for moms specifically, they can offer you a great opportunity to meet new people and have a little fun doing it.

3. Find Ways Things To Bond On Outside Of Motherhood

Naturally, being a mother is a large part of your identity, but it isn’t the ONLY thing that makes you, you. Whether you’re super interested in art, you’re an exercise nut, or you never miss an episode of Grey’s Anatomy, there are tons of other things about you that matter just as much as your status as a mom. The same can be said for any potential friends you might make. It’s totally natural to bond over the ups and downs of parenting, but you should seek to make friends who you find fun, entertaining, and supportive outside of that.

So many of us find parts of our identities that used to be big parts of our lives lost in the fray. Being able to make friends to can help you recapture these parts without sacrificing your identity as a mother is the ultimate goal.

4. Turn Playdates Into Mom Dates

Playdates are an inevitable part of motherhood, it only makes sense to use them to your advantage. If your children are old enough to play safely without constant, close supervision, use the time to genuinely get to know a fellow mom. Sit down over a cup of coffee and turn your child’s playdate into a mom date. This doesn’t require you to go to any groups or go completely out of your way but it could yield some fantastic results.

5. Get Online

As a mother that works from home and spend a lot of her time on the internet, I have come to learn that online friendships are just as meaningful as real life friendships. A mom from clear across the country can provide you with tons of support, laughter, and companionship. When making friends online, you do have to be a little more discerning at first but Facebook groups, mommy message boards, and any online places where moms convene are great places to start.

friends as a mom

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Inspirational

A “Thank You” To That Friend Who Treats Your Kids Like Family

by Amanda Foust
written by Amanda Foust

Sadly, I hear stories and complaints from moms who lost friends without kids once they themselves became a mother. Whether for lack of understanding or time constraints, friendships definitely take a toll when kids enter the picture. I wanted to write this letter for those friends who have stuck by our sides and treat our kids like family. Friendships CAN last through motherhood, even if both women aren’t mothers.

Here’s proof!

thank you

Dear friend,

You’ve been a part of my life for years. I have very few “big moment” memories that don’t include you as the first person I called or texted to tell all the juicy details. From high school heartbreaks, standing next to me when I said, “I do,” to now loving on my kids with each visit, we’ve walked alongside each other through it all. 

You don’t yet have kids of your own. That never crossed my mind as being an “issue” until I brought my daughter into my life and heard story after story about how moms lost their friends who didn’t have kids.

But that’s not you, and I’m grateful.

You could have run away when I barely had time to hang out or lacked brain function to make any decent conversation. You could have left when my texts back to you came hours later or only during naptime. You could have even complained about the fact I was no longer that great friend you used to have because my attention (when I wasn’t completely exhausted) was always on my family. 

But, instead, you loved me through it, you celebrated as my family grew, and you’ve included my kids during our time together. When I send you videos of my day’s crazy antics — dance parties or funny faces — you tell me how much seeing my children make your day, and sometimes request videos on the hard days! When we would visit, you made sure you had entertainment for my kiddos, whether it be coloring crayons or new books for them to take home (also their FAVORITE book by the way)! 

You have gone above and beyond as my friend, and I’m so thankful to not have to feel ashamed of my new identity as “mom” around you. I cannot wait to celebrate with you when you wear the title as well. Know your kids will be incredibly loved (and spoiled) by me as well.

Forever your friend.

Send this to your friend who has been with you on this journey of motherhood. She deserves some recognition! And tell us in the comments what YOUR friends do to support you as a mother!

Amanda Foust

Amanda Foust

Amanda is a wife, mother, writer/editor, and certified life coach. Pen and paper make her spirit come alive. She spends her creative time reading, decorating, and handwriting fonts. Her world is better with an assortment of chocolate and a stack of books packed and ready for travel. She works each day to be a creative maker and a light bringer. You can find more of her writing at Downs, Ups & Teacups and TheDailyPositive.com.
Amanda Foust

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