In every family, there is the fun parent and a disciplinarian. My husband’s the fun parent. After a long day of hard work, he walks into the doorway as if it’s a time machine that makes him twenty years younger. He goes from a professional in the workforce to a ten-year-old boy ready for a nerf gun war and indoor games of dodgeball. The kids greet him with smiles and respond to him with laughter while I sit back wishing I was the fun parent.
I can’t tell you how many times a day they say, “I wish daddy were here” or “Daddy would do (fill in the blank with some crazy activity) with me/”
Frustration follows those statements because every part of me wants to be seen through a lens of approval and awe the way they see their dad!
But just as soon as frustration comes, it leaves. Because I also see the whole picture. If I spent my days with the kids having food fights and going down the staircase with my belly pressed up against a flattened cardboard box, our house would go from a balance of peace and fun to full-out 24/7 chaos. Of course, I can let loose and have a good time with my kids as well, but I’m also the paste that holds the family together. The kisser of boo-boos after a daddy-daughter game goes wrong, the referee when a dance party turns into a wrestling match, and the practical one that talks my kids out of following their dad’s adventurous spirit when it means a trip to the Emergency Room as a result.
I recently read a chapter in the book The Magic of Motherhood that talked about how every household has a parent who is the glitter and one that is the glue. I think you can tell that the glitter is also referred to as the “fun one.” But both are needed! The glue needs the glitter to sparkle and the glitter needs the glue if it’s every going to stick together. I could relate to this chapter but couldn’t help but wish I were the fun parent.
And I think that’s okay! We don’t have to be in total and complete love with the role we play in the family. but we just have to make sure SOMEONE is playing each role! As I was thinking about this, I decided I am going to designate some time each week where I get to be the “fun” one! All discipline and responsibility will be removed from my shoulders for a period of time and placed onto my husbands so I can feel the “love” that only a fun parent seems to feel. I don’t think that’s too much to ask! I’m not asking for a permanent position in the “fun parent” lane. That wouldn’t come naturally to me anyway. I have too many life lessons, and bits of wisdom I want to share. But I’m trying to do that in a more fun-loving way and cover my sticky glue parenting with more glitter!
Tell us in the comments, are you the glitter or the glue?