4. Medical Fears Or Issues
One thing you learn immediately upon having your children is you love them no matter what. But as your maternal age gets older, so do the risks of having a child with special needs. Some families are not financially or emotionally prepared to handle special needs and they make the decision to not have additional children. They may also carry genes that can translate into life threatening illnesses for a child, and choose not to bring a child into the world that would only suffer. That doesn’t mean they are living in fear and not thinking about their child’s need for a sibling. But only they know their limits, and if those fears outweigh everything else then their decision to stop at one child is not selfish or cruel.
Just because movie stars are having kids well into their 40’s with expensive medical care, doesn’t mean us average jane’s want to do the same. I’m into my mid 30’s with a 2.5 year old and I’m tired. Sometimes thinking of kissing sweet newborn toes sounds enticing. But then I think about doing all that plus chasing my toddler and working and I’m exhausted with just the thought. I can see why my younger friends feel up to the challenge of having more kids. But if I have more kids, I want to give them the best parts of me, and that doesn’t include a perpetually exhausted mama!
My husband and I waited until we were into our 30’s before having our daughter. We had 8 years of marriage under our belt, careers and a certain lifestyle that we worked for. So do many other people and having just one child can be an easy addition to their lifestyle. They may not enjoy the thought of a hectic house brimming with children. They may have aspirations to make their child a world traveler like we do. We realize the limitations we would have with more than 1 child and we like the sound of planning our travels and other adventures sooner than later.